Hop, Skip, Boing...

Four Years

2011-09-11T22:00:00.003+10:00

Happy 4th Birthday Oliver!

Three years

2010-09-11T12:30:00.002+10:00

Oliver is three years old today. Shami and I will do our best to make his birthday fun and joyful. A day to celebrate the amazing little boy that he is. And he is an amazing little boy! I hope it will be a happy day for him.

We try our hardest, but the anniversary of Oliver's birth remains a painful day to smile through. Today is difficult not only because the memory of 3 years ago is still raw, but because getting through each day remains a struggle. Overwhelming grief still visits too often, and sorrow accompanies me everywhere. Many things have not progressed as we had hoped.

For Oliver physically, I wish I could write a different story. As hard as he works, there has been little improvement with his motor skills this year. No milestones have been met. Inchstones? Maybe. Perhaps he has a little better control of his arms. He can now usually roll himself from his back onto his tummy, and will actually spend time resting in that position. That is good. These last 2 months he has also been exploring just a little bit with his mouth, putting his hand to his lips, and occasionally his thumb or fingers find their way inside. And believe it or not he is usually okay with it (when it doesn't make him gag). He even seems a little curious. And for the first time he can initiate a game independently… peek-a-boo. He learned to reach for a towel placed on his tummy, grasp it with his hand, and hold it long enough to raise it to his eyes and then down again. He is clunky and not always successful, but he can intentionally do this himself, and it brings tears to my eyes. He delights when we exclaim "Where's Oliver? Oh… there he is! Peek-A-Boo!"

But I had hoped for more, and dreamed of much more. Hope remains my worst enemy. It can crush me like nothing else. Oliver's efforts should yield more success for him. He still has very little core strength in his torso and neck. He constantly kicks and thrusts himself back uncontrollably. He can't control most of his gross movements, much less movements with his hands and fingers. He has made little to no progress with his ability to sit, walk, vocalize intentionally, eat or drink. And some things are getting worse. His CP is affecting his skeleton more and more, and his spine, torso, hips and legs are becoming more problematic. He still lacks basic oral motor skills, and still cannot swallow well. He is grinding his teeth away, and his reflux and vomiting remain terrible. The frustration he feels when he tries, tries, and tries again to do a simple task, only to fail, is agonizing. I fear he is beginning to understand that he is different. That he can't do what he wants to do. That he can't do what others do. And I don't know if I have the ability or strength to help him through it.

But Oliver is an amazing child, with a wonderful personality. He has a great sense of humor, and he thrives on silliness. He brightens the room with his giggles. He loves the outdoors, especially going for walks in his stroller or swinging at his cousin's house. He enjoys working on puzzles, and he loves trains, dinosaurs, and space. His spirit is strong, and cognitively, Oliver shines. He loves words and numbers, and he has an incredible attention span. He listens intently when things are explained to him, and he works very hard at everything he tries. He impresses everyone who makes the effort to spend time with him and really get to know him.

A year ago, at age two, Oliver knew his basic shapes and colors, and his alphabet, both upper and lower case. He was even recognizing some words. We were blown away. Soon he was spelling and rhyming simple words. And for a while now he has been rhyming tricky words. For example he will read "blue" and rhyme it with the written words "two", "flew", "shoe", and "do". He will rhyme "tree" with "flea", "me", and "see", but not with "please" or "sneeze" until I add an "s" to the end of "tree". He will rhyme a picture of a square to the word "chair", or "pear", or a swatch of green to the word "clean". I try to stump him, but it is not easy. And not only can he spell and rhyme, he can read sentences. We have fun playing "quiz" games where I'll write things out on a white board, and he'll have to read it himself, and answer written questions… or many variations on that theme. It is impossible to know for sure how much he knows or comprehends. But he shines in the word and reading games I play with him with our dry-erase boards. And he is pretty good with numbers and sequencing as well.

Oliver is a very bright child, but he is trapped in a body that fights him at every turn. I worry he will lose his spark because as hard as he tries, he physically cannot do the simplest things. I fear he will lose his curiosity because he cannot ask questions, or initiate observations or requests as children need to do.

This has been a hard year. I am told it is better to live in the moment, but I am haunted by the past, and as I look to the future I am scared of the life I see ahead for us. I thought maybe this year the anniversary of Oliver's birth might be easier for me, but it isn't. I am trapped in a universe where I am not supposed to be, looking out at others casually doing ordinary things we will never be able to do. Three years out, I still feel like a caregiver, a nurse, a janitor, a therapist, a teacher, a coordinator, a zombie, but usually not a mother.

September 11th will come and go, and come again. I can't help but have hopes for where we will be a year from today, just like I had hopes last year. No matter how many times I've been knocked down, hope manages to creep in. There will undoubtedly be changes this year. A big change comes on Monday when Oliver will get on a yellow school bus and start preschool. I hope that Oliver will thrive there.

I hope and yearn for many things. But regardless of what does or does not come to be, Oliver is amazing. I am, and I will always be, very proud of him. I love you Ollie.

At the Zoo in Syracuse

2010-08-29T10:00:00.002+10:00

In late August, we finally made a trip to the Rosamond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse. It is not a very big zoo, but it made for a good day trip with Oliver, and allowed him to see real live elephants and penguins. There were many other animals there as well, but the elephants and penguins were the easiest to see, and the most fun for Ollie. The tigers were impressive, but I am not sure Ollie was able to see them very well.

It was a good trip, though it left me feeling a bit down. Seeing the animals in cages was sad. And seeing all the carefree kids running, shouting and pointing excitedly was also sad for me. We had to keep lifting Ollie up out of his stroller so he could try to see the animals. Lifting and carrying him is becoming harder and harder on our backs as he gets larger and heavier.

We did bump into this good looking family of penguins. I think I deserve a medal for holding Ollie and getting both our faces in those holes at the same time!

Farewell, Mr. Toad

2010-08-23T10:00:00.003+10:00

It was a lot of fun taking care of Mr. Toad this summer -- watching him metamorphose into a toad, and then grow from being miniscule to being merely tiny.

I was so attached to him that I thought about getting a larger aquarium and keeping him all winter. But it was tough finding enough food for him to eat. I'm sure fruit flies are yummy, but Mr. Toad needed more to fill his belly, and finding bugs and worms that were just the right size for him was surprisingly difficult. As the summer went on, it became clear that it was time to let him go so that he'd have enough time to establish himself before winter set in. Shami, Ollie and I decided to let him go near a small pond in Sapsucker Woods.

Here's our cute little guy leaving the nest. I hope he'll find lots to eat and be a fat and happy toad.

Taughannock Falls with the Grandparents

2010-08-15T22:00:00.002+10:00

It is very special that Oliver can spend time with all four grandparents. This weekend we all drove out to Taughannock Falls State Park. There is a look-out point above, and then a nice wide flat trail below, great for wheels, leading to the base of the falls. We all enjoyed the sights and the amazing weather. Due to a lack of rain, there was only a trickle of water over the falls, but it was spectacular nonetheless.

The Falls, cut by ancient retreating glaciers. Compare the same view from last fall. And here are the steep stairs to walk down to the lookout point.

Dadu and Thamma, Papa Dadu and Nainai.

Three generations of Chatterjee boys, and Ollie with his dad and Thamma.

Below the falls, Ollie with his mom and grandmother.

After the waterfall, the creek runs over a rocky bed and empties into Cayuga Lake a short distance away. Shami, Ollie, and I wandered down to the shore after the grandparents left for home. We skipped some stones across the water, absorbed some of the peace and quiet, and then drove home ourselves. It was a nice outing.

Nainai and PapaDadu's Anniversary

2010-08-10T22:00:00.001+10:00

Oliver's Ithaca grandparents had their wedding anniversary in early August. To celebrate we invited them over for a sit down Indian meal. Several dishes were whipped up, and Oliver's Thamma spent the day making a special payesh (rice pudding) for dessert. Ollie offered to taste-test it beforehand to make sure it was good - just kidding - but Thamma gave him a taste anyway. It looks like he liked it, doesn't it? Never trust a picture! It took a lot of effort to coax that smile out of him. But he did have some fun playing with it on his tray.

Ollie joined us at the table and it was a lovely dinner. And everyone (except Ollie) agreed that the food, and especially the payesh, was delicious!

More July photos

2010-07-30T10:00:00.002+10:00

We had a nice visit from Oliver's uncle Ian, Aunt Wei, and their kids Eamonn and Molly. It was great to see them. Wei spent some one-on-one time getting to know Oliver, which was wonderful. Ollie loved having Aunt Wei read to him!

While they were in town, Shami engineered a fantastic Indian banquet and we had the whole family over. As usual it was crazy, chaotic, and exhausting, but well worth the effort!

We haven't seen very much of Oliver's cousins this summer. But with Eamonn and Molly visiting from Canada they decided to all stop over one day to put on a spur-of-the-moment concert for Oliver. It was quite a scene! Ollie especially liked Kieran playing his Saxophone.

We've tried to get out of the house each weekend with Oliver's Thamma and Dadu. Here are a few photos from some of our July excursions:

At the Ithaca Farmer's Market, and walking through the Cornell herb and flower gardens.

At the once-a-year Ithaca Artists' Market, and at a quilt show at the Johnson Art museum.

Here is a photo of Ollie with all four of his grandparents on the museum's deck, and one with his dad from an upper floor with Cayuga Lake in the background.

And a few more pictures just for the fun of it:
Here's Ollie swinging with his grandmas and cousin Kieran, and getting a math lesson from his grandfather.

Finally, here's Ollie getting cuddles from his Thamma.

Thamma and Dadu

2010-07-19T22:00:00.003+10:00

July 19th was a very big day. It was the day Oliver's grandparents arrived from India for an extended visit. Oliver's grandfather (his Dadu) hadn't seen Oliver since they visited us in Sydney when Oliver was a baby, less than a week out of the NICU. Oliver's grandmother (his Thamma) came to Sydney by herself in September of 2008 to mark Oliver's 1st birthday with us. For both of them it had been a very, very long time since they'd seen Oliver - or us for that matter!

Through the magic of video chat, Oliver has been able to see his Thamma and Dadu from time to time over this past year. It is hard to know exactly what he comprehends, and what he remembers, but it was clear that the moment he saw them arrive at our door he knew they were special. He felt comfortable with them right away and was all smiles. Their friendship has grown more and more each day. Ollie, with his love of words and silliness, loves it when they talk to him in Bengali. He laughs hysterically, especially when his Dadu throws in some arm movements! It has been wonderful to have them here, and it just breaks our hearts that they don't live closer. They will stay until mid September, through Ollie's 3rd birthday, and the start of school for Ollie. The time will fly by.

July Jots

2010-07-12T10:00:00.000+10:00

Summer arrived in July, with hot humid weather in all its glory. It felt good to me, although I was thankful for the luxury of indoor air conditioning. AC is crucial for Oliver as he runs hot, and develops quite a sweat even when it is only mildly warm.

The Fourth
July started off with a bang. The 4th of July may be our country's birthday, but it is also Oliver's cousin Mariah's birthday - a much bigger deal! This year she turned six. My sister Caitlin had a big birthday gathering for her, and Ollie seemed to enjoy the ruckus. And as you can tell from the photos, Ollie's pumpkin chair has been extremely useful. He sat it in for books with his grandfather, he sat in it for the gift opening, he even sat in it in the sandbox out back!

It was great to be able to plop the chair in the sandbox and let Oliver experience the sand on his feet (and down his pants!) It was his first time experiencing sand like this, and it was interesting to see how serious he was about it, taking in the feeling and sensations of the sand quite intently.

Sapsucker Woods
Shami and I have always liked to go for walks together. While we were dating we would hike the many trails around Ithaca. We still try to get out every once in a while with Oliver, to the more tame wheel-friendly trails nearby. One evening we decided to walk some of the wooded trails in Sapsucker Woods. The bugs made it a bit difficult, but it was a lovely walk nonetheless. It has been years since Shami and I had been on this trail, and we were excited to stumble upon an Andy Goldsworthy sculpture. He is one of my all-time favorite artists, and it was a thrill to quite unexpectedly find this treasure!

Swimming
This summer we have had a handful of Oliver's PT session in a pool. Ollie is still not particularly happy to go in the water. He gets quite tense and nervous about it. But I think each time he loosened up a little bit, and the last time we went he actually relaxed for some portions of his session. I hope that one day he will enjoy the water, and be able to relax and splash and have fun in a pool, aside from the PT aspect of it. Ollie's favorite part of his pool sessions was reading how deep the water was!

Ollie goes to college

2010-06-30T22:00:00.001+10:00

Ollie went to college this summer! He was the youngest participant in a 6 week long Speech Clinic at Ithaca College. They had room for him to go twice a week, and we jumped at the chance to help Ollie work with his new communication device, a DynaVox. So every Monday and Wednesday for a month and a half we drove up to South Hill, and Ollie got to play one-on-one with the speech therapist Tina and her grad student Katrina. How lucky was Ollie to get speech therapists with names that rhyme? He loved that!

Ollie enjoyed going to "college" and had a lot of fun with the activities they prepared for him each week. It was a very positive experience for him. He blew them away with his intelligence and his ability to read. He is held back only by his incredibly limited motor skills which make it too difficult to use the device yet with any accuracy. But we'll keep working on it.

If we can find the time we'll try do do a post on Ollie's communication, and our acquisition of this DynaVox V5 device. Our venture into the world of AAC is just beginning, and all I can say is that I hope the technology hurries up and improves. We're not particularly thrilled with our options for Oliver right now. That said, the DynaVox is a start and a big help in giving him a voice.

Stewart Park

2010-06-25T22:00:00.001+10:00

Our days are usually crammed with therapy. Ollie has occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy three times a week each, and Special Instruction twice a week. It is extremely rare for Ollie to have a weekday morning without a therapy session or appointment of some sort. So when such a day occurs, and especially when it coincides with beautiful weather, it is nice to be able to take advantage of it. On this particular day we decided to go to Stewart Park to explore and feed the ducks. Well, instead of ducks we found lots of Canada geese, and they were not shy! It was a little scary really, and I actually got nipped on my hand protecting Oliver's yummy fingers and toes from hungry goslings. Next time we'll try to avoid the geese and look a little harder for the ducks!

Stewart park is a beautiful park on the southern tip of Cayuga Lake. I have a lot of fond memories of it from my previous life: swing dances in the pavilion, long runs with my Wednesday evening running group, picnics with friends, and lazy days at the annual Ithaca Festival. Those days are long gone, and the park looks different to me now. It looks more challenging.

The park was buzzing with kids Oliver's age running, laughing, and playing while their moms socialized and picnicked. I did my best to stay on task and concentrate on making it a fun outing for Oliver. I wanted to enable him to experience an assortment of activities at the park to the best of our abilities. He was skeptical about much of it, especially going down the slide and getting wet in the sprinklers. Of course there was nothing that was handicap accessible! Not even a single swing. So I held him on my lap and he enjoyed swinging that way for a while. Later on he indicated he wanted to go on the toddler swings that he saw the other children on. These had no back or head support, so I had to hold him steady which didn't make for good swinging action (and nearly threw my back out), but at least he got to do it. He also rode a little pony merry-go-round, and even the T-Rex. These were hard for him because he is unable to use his arms to hold on, and his legs cannot open that wide. He also thrusts backwards, which makes holding him steady even more difficult. But we did our best. Hopefully one day we can be there while the Carousel is running. I wonder if Ollie would find a real merry-go-round fun or frightening.

While we didn't have the relaxed carefree morning at Stewart park that the others were enjoying, we had a good time in our own way. And we made it home in time for Ollie's nap so he'd be rested and ready to go for his afternoon therapy!

Tadpoles

2010-06-15T22:00:00.000+10:00

Ollie loves long silly words. They make him giggle. There is a Sesame Street episode where the word of the day is "metamorphosis" and for a while it was his favorite one to watch (Elmo and Abby participate in a game show called "Find That Amphibian" hosted by Anne Phibian!) He thought the word "Metamorphosis" was hilarious, and it helped him learn about the transformation of caterpillars to butterflies, and tadpoles to frogs. One day his nurse Jo asked if she could bring us some tadpoles from her pond, and I said "sure!" The next day she arrived with 4 tiny black tadpoles, with their hind legs just barely showing. I went out and bought a little plastic aquarium, and searched the internet to read up on their delicate care.

Within a week, one of the tadpoles sprouted front legs, and then crawled out of the water, eventually absorbing its entire tail. It was truly incredible to watch it transform so quickly. Unfortunately the remaining four didn't last very long - two died as tadpoles, and one died as a froglet, but the first little guy has flourished and is still with us, hopping around and feasting on fruit flies in his little aquarium. I believe he turned out to be a toad, and not a frog, because he spends very little time in the water, but really I have no idea. He sure is cute though, if you go for that type!

May miscellany

2010-05-31T22:00:00.001+10:00

Still playing catch-up, so here are some snippets from May. Ollie went to the dentist for the first time this May. There wasn't much good news from the visit, but Dr. Joe was very nice, even making special accommodations to see us off-hours. Ollie produced the expected wailing, gagging and retching, but miraculously he didn't actually vomit on the guy! Pretty much the only fun part of that visit was seeing this cute calf. Dr. Joe grew up on a dairy farm, and raises orphaned calves as a hobby. We got to meet this little girl, who was only weeks old.

It may seem silly, but one of the best things to happen this May was getting this new Childrite seat for Ollie. I was at my wits end and finally found this chair on-line, and bought it on a whim. It has been wonderful. No, it doesn't hold Oliver in the best position for his spine, hips or neck, and he pushes back in it with his feet, but he loves it, and so do I. We use it every day. I don't need to worry about straps and adjustments, I can just plop him in. Here he is in his new "Pumpkin Chair" as we call it, enjoying a book with his grandmother.

May is birthday season in my family, with Shannon, Shami, Jamie, Sean and me all having birthdays. This year we added one more when Jeanine and Sean had their second child, a little boy named Finnegan, on May 5th, sharing a birthday with Shami. Sigh. I don't much care for my birthdays anymore, but at least I get to make a wish… if only one day something would come of them.

Shami's birthday cake, and Ollie meeting Finnegan for the first time.

Lots of other things kept us busy in May, including doctors visits, more meetings with the school district, and sessions with Ollie's OT and PT looking at and trying out old dusty equipment that he might use in school next year. But we also had some fun, including visits from friends, a pleasant walk in the Cornell Gardens, a morning at the Farmer's Market, and a stop at this old train downtown, owned by a local bank. I think Ollie rather enjoyed seeing a train up close, and stepping up onto it with his dad.

I also took Ollie to the local science museum for the first time. It is an amazing place, and I looked around and absorbed all the incredible things there were for able-bodied children to do. I watched the enthusiastic kids running around, and eyed the parents busy attending to their kids and socializing with one another. I listened to all the chatter and excitement. Ollie and I would have had fun there, if our lives were different. But there were few options for Oliver to enjoy. Even most of the table-top activities were set-up in a way that wasn't wheelchair (or stroller) accessible. We did find this "Invisible Orchestra" where a camera would catch Ollie's movement and play music when he moved his arms or legs across a virtual keyboard. I took him out of his stroller, and laid him right on the mat, and let him wiggle around. I think it was fun for him to get that musical feedback from his movements.

April happenings

2010-04-30T10:00:00.003+10:00

April was full of small happenings, including Nainai's birthday, a baby shower for Sean and Jeanine, an open house at the vet school, and more. And we had the occasional visit from Mariah, who walked down the street to play with Ollie. But it was a special treat when Kieran stopped by one day, and read a book to Oliver and Mariah.

In April the Cornell vet school had their annual open house. Ollie got to see all sorts of animals, big and small, scaly and furry. Don't miss the photo of Ollie Oinker and his dad ShaMoooo!

My friend Alex visited us for a weekend. Oliver loves her because she is really good at singing the A-B-C song! We had a nice stroll through the Cornell flower gardens with her. That was also the weekend we threw a baby shower for Sean and Jeanine.

We also celebrated my mom's birthday in April. Would you ever guess this birthday girl turned 81? She was hitting the balls out of the park!

Here she is getting ready to blow out the candles, and here is Ollie chillin' with his grandfather, since neither of them wanted any cake...

Finally, here's Ollie spending some quality time with Elmo, Grover, and his doll Davy.

Easter 2010

2010-04-15T10:00:00.001+10:00

In April Oliver's Uncle Ian, and his cousins Eamonn and Molly drove down from Canada for Easter. Easter weekend was unusually warm, and we all spent a lot of time outside enjoying the mild weather. This was one of the first times Ollie had been on the swing since the snow melted, and he was loving it. Higher! Faster! More!

We had a belated birthday celebration for Molly, who turned six in March. Here she is with cousin Mariah. And here are a few Easter eggs I decorated.

On Easter Sunday there were several egg hunts. First we had one for the kids at Caitlin and Jamie's house. Then the kids had fun hiding eggs for the adults. And finally we "hid" eggs at our house especially for Eliza and Oliver. We put Ollie in his gait trainer, and we even got him to hold on to his Easter basket just long enough for me to snap a couple of cute pictures.

Oliver's uncle Sean is very much a tech gadget early-adopter kind of guy. He had pre-ordered an Apple iPad and was one of the first to get his hands on one. Here he is showing it off… and I have to admit, it was a beautiful thing to hold and use. We think we want to get one for Oliver, and are thinking of buying this one off of him when he upgrades - any day now!

March outings

2010-03-30T10:00:00.000+11:00

We had a hard start to the new year, and by the end of February I was feeling raw with grief. So in March we tried extra hard to get out of the house and go on some outings to get our minds off of things.

In early March, Mariah accompanied us to Cornell's Lab of Ornithology. It is always a nice place to go, no matter the season. The snow was still pretty deep in early March: it comes up to the seat level of the wooden bench. But on this day the weather was mild, and it felt good to be out in the fresh air.

The lab had an exhibit of paintings featuring endangered birds, and one of the paintings (the small blue heron) was by Oliver's former physical therapist.

We also made a trip to our excellent local library. It was Oliver's first trip to a library. He got his very own library card, and we checked out an assortment of books and music CDs for him. Oliver was momentarily distracted by some books on dinosaurs, but over all he was not very impressed. Hopefully he'll have more fun next time.

We've been reading to Oliver about dinosaurs lately. One of his favorite words right now is "paleontologist." So we thought it would be fun to go to the nearby Museum of the Earth. We elicited a few smiles from him, but he was a bit too young for most of it.

At the end of March we met Sean and Eliza at the Cayuga Nature Center. It is an old building, and not wheelchair accessible, which made me unhappy. For now we could carry the stroller up stairs, but I don't think this is a place we will be able to take Oliver to in the future unless they follow through with plans to make it more accessible.

The day was a lot colder than we realized, and we had to borrow a jacket from Eliza to keep Oliver warm. Ollie was confident enough to be seen in pink! Here is a picture of uncle Sean helping to hold him up, stroller and all, so that he could look at a snake.

Watching the Winter Olympics

2010-03-02T22:00:00.000+11:00

Not only does Oliver enjoy swinging and spinning, he also enjoys watching other people dance and spin and twirl. Here's a short clip that Meghan caught on camera: Oliver is enjoying a snowboarder's fancy tricks in the air during the Winter Olympics.

Oliver goes sledding

2010-03-01T10:00:00.002+11:00

We've had a lovely snowy winter in Ithaca. At the end of December, there was just enough snow on the ground for some very tame sledding. We thought Oliver should enjoy some winter fun, and experience his first sled ride.

Ollie was unhappy being zipped into his snowsuit. He cried so much that we almost aborted the mission, but we persisted. We trekked over to Caitlin and Jamie's house, grabbed a sled, and headed to the top of their tiny hill. Caitlin, Mariah, Shannon and Kieran all came out to join us. Ollie seemed skeptical, but tolerant of the situation. I sat him in front of me on the sled, counted to three, and down we went.

At the end of the ride, Ollie was pretty expressionless, but when I asked him if he liked it and wanted to go again, he gave a smile. A small smile, but a smile nonetheless! We ended up having quite a few rides, and it was good fun until a little snow made its way down his collar. Then it wasn't so fun any more, but who can blame him? All in all, we'll count his first sledding experience a success.

Unpleasant surprises

2010-02-28T10:00:00.001+11:00

January and February have been hard months for us. We have had way too much paperwork to deal with, and encountered a variety of frustrating pitfalls trying to get Oliver what he needs. We've had our hands full with doctor's appointments, therapy sessions, snowstorms, last-minute cancellations, and a miscellaneous assortment of other appointments and obligations. We also had some out-of-the-ordinary heartaches, which I am finding it particularly difficult to rise above. We've been sick off and on as well. When Oliver is sick he struggles more than usual with his breathing and swallowing. This of course leads to more reflux, more vomiting, and even less sleep, making it all the more difficult for a brave little boy and his tired parents.

Here are a few of pictures from a couple of unpleasant surprises we had. As if we didn't have enough going on, in January we discovered that Oliver is allergic to peanuts. After a teeny tiny "taste" on his lip during speech/feeding therapy, his mouth started swelling up almost immediately. I rushed him to the doctor and thankfully all we needed was a dose of Benadryl. But this is serious, and the next time we may not be so lucky. Not good, and of course this happened when Shami was away at a conference.

In February Oliver's g-tube button came out again. The water-filled balloon that holds it inside his stomach sprung a leak, and the whole thing came right out. Although it has never been easy, Shami and I have replaced the button ourselves in the past. But Oliver's stoma has grown a bit of a lip, making it more difficult, and we struggled fruitlessly to get the new button in. We tried again and again, while Oliver got more and more upset. If the button isn't replaced quickly enough (within 2 hours) the stoma begins to close up, and surgery may be required. So at 7:00 on a Sunday morning we had to call on our gallant brother-in-law Dr. Jamie. Thankfully Jamie was home, and came to save the day. We were grateful to avoid a trip to the emergency room. Once the button was in Ollie calmed down. Other than the site being a little sore he seemed just fine, so we were able to give him his morning tube feed.

One year in Ithaca

2010-02-04T22:00:00.002+11:00

It is amazing how one (long) airplane ride can bring about so much change. It has been one year since Oliver and I came home to Ithaca to stay. Shami and I have never once second-guessed our decision to move back. It was the right thing to do for many reasons. It has been a long year, with many good times and many heartbreaking lows and frustrations. Although we miss our friends and many other things back in Sydney, there is no substitute for being close to family when times are hard, and Oliver is receiving amazing therapy here.

I keep thinking I'd like to post more to the blog, but then life can be so indescribably hard. It is one thing to write and read "every day is a struggle," and another to live it day after day, night after long, long night.

Hopefully we'll have some pictures of our recent adventures on here soon to share with you! And so we start our second year back in the US.

Oliver playing with his cousin Mariah

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T10:00:00.000+11:00

Here's wishing everyone a very merry Christmas, and a happy holiday season!

Fun with charts

2009-12-15T22:00:00.000+11:00

We don't talk much (on the blog, at least) about our daily battle with Oliver's reflux. So, how much has Oliver been throwing up lately? We decided to feed our very detailed records into my scientific plotting package and see what came out.

The pictures tell the story... The tiny circles represent small spit-ups, while the largest circles represent more than Oliver's full feed volume coming right back out. (The fine print: Internal reflux and episodes of churning and heaving where nothing comes out are not recorded here. And we've grouped vomit times into five bins: early morning, post-breakfast, post-lunch, after-dinner, and late night.)

The regularity with which Ollie throws up after breakfast is pretty remarkable. Will the December chart tell a different story? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Fun With Charts!

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-27T22:00:00.000+11:00

Thanksgiving is a very special holiday in the US, and it is the busiest travel period of the year, as people travel long distances to be with friends and family. This year we cooked dishes to share and got dressed up and traveled almost a full tenth of a mile down the road to Caitlin and Jamie's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a wonderful gathering, with eighteen of us around the table, including Eliza and Oliver, their older cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents. Although Ollie joined us at the table, he didn't actually eat (of course). But after dinner, Meghan's cousin David treated him to some piano playing, and Ollie loved that.

Waterfalls and fall colors

2009-11-15T22:00:00.003+11:00

As the bumper sticker says, "Ithaca is Gorges", and that's especially true in the fall. For a brief period of time the leaves are a spectacular mix of green and red and gold, the waterfalls are gushing, and the sunsets light up the evening in flaming colors. This year we managed to get out on a few local walks, and in spite of the unseasonable early snowfall, we enjoyed some lovely fall weather. Below, a handful of pictures from around Beebe Lake, Ithaca Falls, Taughannock Falls, and Stewart Park.

Halloween 2009

2009-11-01T22:00:00.000+11:00

Last year Oliver was a (very cute!) pirate for Halloween, but it was a pretty quiet day for us since it isn't a big thing Down Under. But this year, in the US and with lots of cousins around, it was a much bigger event. Although we are patching Ollie's right eye even more now than a year ago (6 hours a day), I thought he should dress up as something different for Halloween. I thought about it, and finally had an idea. I found some red fleece pajamas in a box of hand-me-downs, and I bought some blue socks for his feet and hands. My mom helped to sew a fox snout and ears onto a red fleece hat we had, and made a red tail to match. Voila, the cutest Fox in Socks ever! (For those of you not familiar with Fox in Socks, he is a character from one of Oliver's favorite books by Dr. Seuss.)

I am not sure how much of the concept of Halloween Oliver grasped, but we had fun talking about it beforehand. I told him how children dress up in different costumes, and that he was going to be Fox in Socks. I explained how they go out and knock on neighbors doors and say "Trick or Treat" to get yummy candy that they like to eat. When I would ask him what he was going to be: a pirate? an elephant? a robot? he would shake his head No No No... until I asked, Fox in Socks? and then he'd give a big grin!

So in the evening I suited Ollie up (he didn't fuss too much, luckily!) and we went out Trick or Treating on our street with some of his cousins. I recorded "Trick or Treat" onto one of his talking buttons, so that he could say it himself. Some of the neighbors who are not familiar with Oliver's cerebral palsy probably thought it was weird, but I guess I have to get used to that, or at least try not let it bother me so much. It was both a fun and sad time for me, watching the kids running, playing, talking and collecting candy. I wished things were different for us, and especially missed Shami, who was away for the week at a meeting in England. But I did my best to put on a happy face, and I think Ollie had a fun experience. And he was an awfully cute Fox in Socks!

In the photo: Jeanine, Eliza, Sean, Devon, and Kieran in the back. Caitlin, Shannon, Oliver, and Mariah in front.

Homecoming Day Anniversary

2009-10-20T22:00:00.001+11:00

Today is the two year anniversary of Oliver's discharge from the NICU in Sydney, the day we brought him home for the first time.

Unfortunately we marked the day with an early morning Ophthalmology appointment at the Children's Hospital in Rochester. After a long, mostly sleepless night with Oliver, we were pretty exhausted even before the 2+ hour drive there. But luckily the appointment went smoothly enough. The good news is that Ollie's eyes are improving slowly but steadily, and there is a small chance that he might not need surgery to align them after all. We'll have to keep patching his right eye for 6 hours a day, and go back for another exam in 3 months.

Autumn is a beautiful time of the year in central New York, and we enjoyed the vibrant fall colors while driving to Rochester and back. On the way back home we drove by Cayuga Lake and made a quick detour to see the breathtaking Taughannock Falls as a treat. We even managed to get a smile from Oliver!

It was all going well, and we were on track to get home well before Ollie's afternoon feed, when... we got a flat tire. We were only a few miles from home! Shami was a star and we were able to put the spare tire on, which was enough to get Shami to work, and Ollie home in time for his lunch. Thankfully, after the morning's excitement, the rest of the day was fairly quiet and laid back.

Snow!

2009-10-16T14:30:00.000+11:00

Ithaca got an early start to the winter yesterday, and the light snow that began in the afternoon continued into the night. By 3 AM there was over an inch on the ground. (I know because I was up!) But despite two nights of little sleep with a sick boy and Shami away, seeing the beautiful peaceful snow outside in the morning lifted my spirits. Ollie and I looked out the window as we read "Snow", by P.D Eastman and Roy McKie. I also got a bowl full of snow for Ollie to put his hands in. Conclusion: it is cold and wet!

By noon it had melted away, though there is more snow in the forecast through Sunday. After a wet cool summer, it looks like we may be in for a long, cold, snowy winter. But it sure is pretty.

A brand new cousin

2009-10-13T22:00:00.001+11:00

Speaking of cousins, we'd like to extend a long overdue 'welcome' to Oliver's new cousin, Dhimaan (also known as Marco Polo).

Oliver's Uncle Tuku and Aunt Uttara (or Tuku Kaku and Uttara Kaki in Bengali) had a little boy on August 28th. Thankfully everything went smoothly, and he and his mom are healthy and happy. Unfortunately for us, they live half way around the world in New Delhi, so I fear it will be a very long time before we get to meet the little guy.

But isn't he gorgeous!?!

Canadian cousins

2009-10-12T22:00:00.000+11:00

We had a weekend visit from Oliver's uncle Ian, aunt Wei, and his cousins Eamonn and Molly. They live in Canada and we don't get to see them very often, so it was a lot of fun to have them stay with us.

It was especially nice for Wei to visit, as she hadn't seen Oliver since our visit to Ithaca from Sydney in June of 2008. Oliver took to her pretty quickly, and enjoyed dancing with her!

We had a belated 9th birthday party for Eamonn. Shami cooked a meal (with some help!) for 16 people... 18 including Eliza and Oliver. Everyone enjoyed the food and the chaos.

Pizza was on the menu the next night. Here is Oliver with his littlest girl cousins: Mariah, Eliza and Molly.

Where is the letter S?

2009-10-01T22:00:00.000+10:00

Here's Oliver playing with Mum and showing off his letters.

Equipment

2009-09-30T22:00:00.001+10:00

Today was a big day. Two people from a medical equipment company came down from Syracuse to deliver some pieces of adaptive equipment we've been waiting many, many months for: a specialized car seat, a gait trainer (walker), and a positioning push chair. They also brought two items for Oliver to try out before we place orders for them. So we still have to wait for a high-low positional chair, and a standing frame... Of course we need these two pieces now, and I am worried it will be many more months before we get them.

Ollie did amazingly well amidst a lot of commotion: two parents, two therapists, a nurse, and two men he'd never seen before, all trying to force him into contortions with strange new pieces of equipment. Luckily he was in a pretty good mood to start with, and we put on a Sesame Street video ("1 2 3, Count with Me", his current favorite) to distract him from the stress, which did the trick.

So far we have been using old loaner equipment, none of which is fitted correctly to him, and some of the items look like they are 20 or so years old. We're grateful to finally have some of our own stuff, and will wait anxiously for the chair and stander to come. But I'd just like to say that I hate the equipment. I hate that Ollie needs them, I hate how big they are, I hate how difficult they are to work with, I hate how ugly they are, I hate how expensive they are, I hate how many hoops we have to jump through to get them and how long it takes to get them, and I hate that I have to feel so grateful to have them. But they will help Oliver to be positioned correctly, help him to bear weight on his legs, and help us get around with him, and so I am grateful for them.

One other thing: I just don't understand why adaptive equipment has to look so horribly ugly and scary. Some of these things look like killer robot drones from Star Wars, ready to unfold and zap you. Ollie is a little boy, and he shouldn't have to use such awful looking stuff. I bet if Apple, for example, made this sort of equipment, they could make it look nice, fun, and maybe even inviting. Yes, there are constraints with all the ways these pieces need to fit together, but I am sure it could be done. In the meantime, we are stuck with a houseful of big, cumbersome, scary looking things that cost a fortune. The positioning stroller and the gait trainer cost almost 4,000 dollars each! Thank goodness our costs are covered by insurance and Early Intervention, at least for now.

Oliver's second birthday

2009-09-12T10:00:00.002+10:00

On his birthday, we tried very hard to make sure that Oliver had a happy and relaxed day. We gave him a break from therapy appointments and even a day off from his daily eye-patching. We set up a birthday table for him, with a bright and cheerful home-made toucan sign (since he is 2!), a birthday balloon, and of course gifts. Luckily, Ollie was in a pretty good mood for most of the day.

Aunt Caitlin stopped by for an early morning visit to wish Ollie a Happy Birthday.
Ollie even played with his birthday balloon for a bit.

Ollie's grandparents stopped by and he enjoyed reading some books with them.

In the evening we had a big family gathering, with pizza and salad. Ollie was a little overwhelmed by it all at first, but did settle down eventually. Then, we opened some gifts.

Unfortunately it wasn't a vomit-free day (is it ever?) so we had a quick wardrobe change. But Ollie looked just as cute in this Indian tunic as he did in his red shirt from FabIndia... Thanks Uttara Kaki and Tuku Kaku!

Ollie got so many things: books, pajamas, dvds; and from Aunt Caitlin, Uncle Jamie and his cousins he got a little doll that looks just like him (well, almost). We named him Davy.

We thought that you shouldn't have a birthday without a birthday cake, even if you couldn't eat it. Ollie actually loved it when the whole big group started singing 'Happy Birthday To You', all at once! I helped him make a wish, and then gave him a little taste of icing. Blech! All in all, it went as well as could be expected. Now on to another year.

Two years

2009-09-11T12:30:00.001+10:00

Oliver is two years old today.

Happy Birthday - it's such a sweet and simple sentiment. One that most people can take for granted. I will say the words, and accept them from others with a smile, for the love and good thoughts they wish to convey. But for us, today, the words ring hollow. I will smile, we will give gifts, take pictures, and even have a cake. But I cannot forget that it is the anniversary of a terrible day. It is not a day my heart can celebrate. I thought it might be a little easier to bear this year, but it is not.

It has been a very long hard year, leaving many of our hopes and aspirations for Oliver's development unfulfilled. Among other things, Oliver still cannot roll over, sit, eat or use his arms and hands to play with toys. He cannot hug me, hold my hand or say "mama". He still vomits every day (and sometimes at night), and Shami and I get very, very little sleep. Grief still tears my heart apart each and every day. And the work and exhaustion of caring for Oliver is getting harder and harder as he grows into a boy.

But along with the unrelenting stress and sadness, this past year has brought us many positive changes, accomplishments and even moments of joy. We moved back to Ithaca, and Oliver has adapted to a new country, new people, and a rigorous schedule of therapy sessions. Oliver works very hard at everything, and he has made progress. In the right mood he'll take a spoon with a drop of water on it. Although he cannot roll all the way over, he can roll onto his side, especially if you tell him you'll scratch his back if he does! He holds his head up a little better, and much to our surprise he enjoys "walking" in a borrowed gait trainer. Although he cannot talk, he understands much of what we say, and he is learning to shake his head to say "no". For some months now he has known his shapes, colors and best of all he knows all 26 letters of the alphabet. But most importantly he is a sweet little boy with a wonderful spirit. He laughs a little more now, and it warms our hearts to see his adorable dimple when he is happy. I am proud of him, and grateful for what progress there has been. Yet I will always, always want more. I will always wonder about what he would be doing, the things he would be saying, and the life we would be leading if all had gone well.

The next year will undoubtedly bring us ups and downs, struggles, successes, and heartbreaks. Hopefully we'll be able to share pictures and stories, and keep you apprised of Oliver's progress and accomplishments more regularly this year. But for now, take a look at this handsome, happy two year old!

Ithaca bound

2009-02-04T22:00:00.004+11:00

Moving house is always difficult. Managing an overseas move while caring for Oliver, with all his special needs, seemed next to impossible. As much as we hated the idea, Shami and I decided that it made sense for me and Oliver to return to Ithaca ahead of him. I'd get a head start on settling in, paper work, medical care, and getting services for Oliver up and running. Shami would stay behind to tie up loose ends in Australia, not the least of which was emptying our place of two and a half years of stuff. He could manage much more easily without appliances or furniture (or an overnight feeding pump!) by himself than we could with Oliver.

But there was just no way I could travel alone with Ollie... the three of us barely survived our last trip to the US. This plan only became a real possibility because our good friend Fernando came to our rescue. Fernando had been observing at the Parkes telescope, and he was returning to New York City at roughly the same time. He offered to rearrange his travel plans in order to escort me and Oliver from Rozelle to Ithaca, door to door. It was a tremendous undertaking, and we are forever grateful to him. Chivalry is not dead!

It felt like a whirlwind, saying goodbye to people and places, and packing and planning. But before we knew it was time for us to leave. The task ahead was not made any easier by starting out on a 40 hour trip with only 2 hours of sleep. But we were off nonetheless.

The taxi was packed and waiting. Our friend and neighbor Abi and her son Felix saw us off.
Saying goodbye to Shami was very hard.

Shami spent as much time with Oliver as he could, and worried that Oliver would forget who he was.

Our United Airlines 747 taxis away from the gate. (Shami says: And in the foreground, the new Airbus A380 in Qantas colors.)

On the long flight from Sydney to LA we got lucky with bulkhead seats and a bassinet. Oliver barely fit, but I made a little nest for him, and to my relief he was actually able to sleep off and on for a portion of the flight, giving our arms a bit of a rest. And finally, we made it to California!

Our flight out of LA wasn't until evening, so we booked into a hotel room to regroup, clean up, wash feeding tubes, and rest as best as we could.

Fernando, Bag Rambo! Don't mess with him, he'll carry all your bags whether you like it or not!
Oliver enjoyed spreading out and watching his favorite Wiggles DVD.

We had two more flights to go. From LA to Philadelphia, and then on to Ithaca. It was not easy... and I won't even go into the problems we encountered with the airlines losing our luggage in LA. I kept reminding myself that every minute that passed brought us one minute closer to Ithaca. And finally we arrived!

Ithaca was very COLD. When we stepped off the plane onto the tarmac the temperature was 7°F (-14°C), and the wind whipped icy snow in our faces. But it felt so good to be home, I didn't mind.

It was wonderful to have my family greet us at the airport.

Ollie on the drive home, looking out at the snow and wondering what happened to the sun and the Iron Cove Bridge.

Ollie and Mum in front of our new house, "The Garage Mahal."
And finally, Ollie asleep in his new crib. What a long trip...

A big decision

2009-01-31T10:00:00.003+11:00

We made a big decision in January. We decided to leave Australia. It was both an extremely easy and an extremely difficult decision to make. Easy because it was clearly the best thing for us, but it was difficult to say goodbye to the hopes and dreams we brought with us to Australia, not to mention the special people we had met, and the places we'd enjoyed so much. Shami had to give up a wonderful job and decline a fellowship he had worked very hard for. But we were tired of struggling on and on by ourselves. In Ithaca we would be close to family, and Oliver would be eligible for a top notch Early Intervention program without having to worry about residency status. Yes, it was a very easy and a very difficult decision.

Before we left, we managed to get out for a few "last hurrahs" ...

We finally managed to go to the Sydney Aquarium, and we all enjoyed the fish.

Though we put on our smiles, it was sad to say goodbye to the Botanic Gardens, and especially to the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Some of the hardest things to say goodbye to were all the wonderful places we used to explore on our daily walks. We enjoyed so many strolls by the water on the Bay Run, and through Callan park and the grounds of the abandoned Rozelle Psychiatric Hospital.

Goodbye Callan park, and goodbye stray cats.

Goodbye Bay Run, and Iron Cove Bridge.

The easiest thing to say goodbye to was Sydney Children's Hospital!
And we will always remember fondly sitting our deck, and enjoying the view and that wonderful Sydney weather.

Goodbye Darling Street and goodbye to the Rozelle market.

I haven't mentioned the many people we had to say goodbye to. Too many to acknowledge here, but hopefully later. It is always the most difficult to say goodbye to friends.

Happy New Year again

2009-01-01T14:00:00.000+11:00

It's official: 2008 is finally over, after dragging on for an extra leap second (2008/12/31, 23:59:60). Happy New Year to everyone, and let's hope the year ahead is a better one.

Although we didn't have the iconic backdrop of the Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Opera house, we saw spectacular fireworks over the Iron Cove from the comfort of our own deck. (A brief 19 second video clip below.)

(Our previous New Year's eve posts are here for 2008, and here and here for 2007.)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T22:00:00.000+11:00

At the end of a hard year - much harder than we'd anticipated, in many ways - we weren't really feeling the Christmas spirit. Going into the summer solstice didn't really help with that either. But we finally got our act together, unpacked the Christmas tree, opened the box of lights and ornaments, put on some holiday music, and settled in to read How the Grinch stole Christmas.

On Christmas eve, we put a collection of gifts from family and friends under the tree, turned on the lights, and it looked quite cheery after all.

Christmas day was quite laid back and relaxed, a chance for us to catch our breaths a little. One thing it was not: a white Christmas. It was bright and warm and very sunny, a typical Aussie Christmas.

We hope all our readers had a pleasant and very merry Christmas: best wishes for the holidays and the New Year ahead.

Looking back, part 2: Grandparents visit

2008-12-01T22:00:00.001+11:00

(October – November, 2007)

We want to take a moment once again to look back and acknowledge some special visitors we've had since Oliver's birth.

Less than a week after we brought Oliver home from the hospital, Oliver's grandparents, his Thamma and his Dadu, arrived from India. It was such a difficult time (they could tell you some stories!) that those early weeks at home have become a bit of a blur for us. Having Shami's parents here was a tremendous help, and in fact we're not sure we would have survived without them.

Notice how the lovely sari Ollie's Thamma is wearing on the left miraculously turns into a special heirloom blanket, complete with an embroidered "OA" for Oliver Akash! Thank you Thamma!

Although we were mostly housebound and too exhausted to do much of anything beyond what was absolutely necessary, we did manage to get out a few times to show them some of Sydney's sights, including a couple of walks along the coast and a stop at Bondi beach. Ollie even dipped his toes into the Tasman sea for the first time, but he was not impressed.

It was not just their help with meals, cleaning and caring for Oliver we are grateful for, but their boundless love and emotional support. We are so glad they were able to come and meet their first grandchild early on, even if the circumstances were far from the happy ones we'd envisioned.

All dressed up: three generations of Chatterjee men. And Oliver with his mum and Thamma too.

Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park

2008-11-23T22:00:00.000+11:00

We took advantage of good weather and a little extra energy over the weekend to drive to Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park. This park dates back to 1894, the second oldest in Australia, and the Sydney metropolitan area has expanded right up to its edge - it was only an hour's drive for us. We drove through the park all the way to West Head, where we enjoyed gorgeous sweeping views of the Hawkesbury river meeting the ocean.

You can see Barrenjoey Head, with its lighthouse, behind Meghan, and Lion Island behind Shami. The entire area is a nature preserve and has recently been designated a National Heritage area.

Alas, we didn't have much time to spend here before we had to drive back, but we did run into a goanna, an Australian monitor lizard. It was big! And don't miss the forked tongue in the (very short) video clip below.

Obama!

2008-11-06T22:00:00.002+11:00

After Meghan donated money and sent in her absentee ballot, there wasn't much else for us to do about the US elections besides obsessively following the twists and turns of the campaign. On November 5th (late night 4th in the US), we all watched with an overwhelming sense of relief as the results came in. Here's Oliver congratulating President-Elect Obama as he gives his victory speech!

Throughout the election campaign, the news coverage was dominated by trivia like flag pins, tire gauges, and wardrobes, but did you know that the candidates had actual positions on policy issues such as disability? As this post on the blog Crooked Timber says,

Disability policy never swings an election. And why should it? Unless you yourself have a disability, or unless you know someone with a disability, or unless you’re concerned about things like employment or health care, or unless you might get sick or injured someday, or unless you’re planning on aging, disability policy is irrelevant to you.

Well, it turns out that Senator Obama had some really comprehensive and smart disability policies. On the other hand, Senator McCain merely wanted to cut costs, so his policy could be summarized, more or less, as "Don't become disabled." (Again, if you're interested, this post is worth reading.) I guess we'll see how President Obama's plans survive the ongoing economic crisis.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T22:00:00.002+11:00

Ahoy there, matey! Oliver wears a patch on his right eye for a couple of hours every day to strengthen his weaker left eye. Inspired by what we call his "pirate time", Meghan dressed Ollie up as a pirate for Halloween. Avast! Shiver me timbers! Happy Halloween to all of our readers.

Homecoming Day

2008-10-20T22:00:00.000+11:00

Today has been another day filled with memories. One year ago today, Shami and I walked out of the hospital with Oliver. We buckled him into his car capsule, and we brought our baby boy home.

We were scared, we were hopeful, we were sad, we were relieved. For the first time, there were no doctors or nurses telling us what to do, and we had our own private space. For the very first time since his birth, almost six weeks earlier, Shami, Oliver and I finally felt like a family.

It has been a long year, filled with moments of joy, sadness, and painful realities. While many of our optimistic hopes for Oliver haven't materialized, he has nevertheless come a long way. Some of his accomplishments may seem small and insignificant, but to us they are things to celebrate. Oliver has recently begun to move his arms with intention, and he is becoming more tolerant of his mouth being touched. He now knows many of his toys by name, and will turn his head to them when we say their names. Most importantly, Oliver is a much happier baby than before. Although he still suffers and cries too much, the months of unrelenting thrashing and crying have eased up. We appreciate each moment when Oliver is happy and engaged with his surroundings, and we are grateful for every smile he gives us.

Oliver sitting on the deck with a few gifts and some of his favorite friends, waiting for his dad to come back from work.

What a smile! Oliver and Dad opening some Homecoming Day gifts.

Looking back: early days, early visitors

2008-10-10T22:00:00.000+11:00

(September 2007) Oliver was in the hospital for 40 days, during which time Shami and I spent almost all our time by his side. He was 6 days old when they allowed me to have my first "cuddle" with him. With all the padding, pillows and blankets they insisted on, not to mention all the wires and tubes we had to accommodate, it was hardly a real cuddle. Still, he was in my arms for the very first time, and that was special.

At first we were rarely allowed to hold him, and the nurses discouraged us from stroking or stimulating him. But we touched him as much as possible. A hand on his head, chest, arm or foot, just to let him feel our presence next to him. Shami liked to give Oliver a finger to grasp, and would sit for hours that way. If you look closely at the two photos below, you can see that Ollie is nestled in ice packs. The doctors chilled him for the first 72 hours of his life to help reduce secondary brain damage.

With our families half a world away, Shami and I were on our own until my sister called my cousin Sue and alerted her to the crisis. Living locally in Sydney, she was our first visitor, and helped us tremendously through the initial days. She brought us edible and iron-rich food (I was very anemic) while we were still in the hospital, and lent a shoulder to cry on. She has been a wonderful support for us this past year. She has visited us several times with her delicious and always-welcome roasted veggie casserole!

Laura Beth and Bryan were the other local first-responders. Laura Beth came to the hospital several times, with gifts of food, magazines, and always a sympathetic ear. We are forever grateful.

When Oliver was 8 days old my sister Caitlin arrived for a week-long visit, traveling all the way from Ithaca, NY. We had planned the visit months in advance, and I had so looked forward to sharing the joys of our new baby with her. Although it was not the happy visit we had envisioned, her loving presence during the early days of our crisis was a tremendous help. She was with us through an extremely difficult week. Among other things, I leaned on her when I was discharged from the hospital, and when we got the upsetting results from Oliver's first MRI. Having her there, as a sister and as a doctor, was a incredible comfort to me. The time for goodbye came far too soon.

From the very beginning Caitlin wanted to hold Oliver, but the NICU rules do not allow anyone but the parents to handle their babies. They were pretty strict about this. But the day before she left, during a crib change, a sympathetic nurse let her hold Ollie while he was temporarily off his monitors. We are so glad she got a cuddle!

Thank you

2008-10-01T22:00:00.002+10:00

Shami and I are extremely touched by the incredibly thoughtful and sincere responses to our previous post. I know that every one of us has our own unique set of challenges and difficult situations that we must face. We appreciate your concern and caring for ours. By reaching out to us, each of you has helped to uplift our spirits. Thank you.

One year

2008-09-11T12:30:00.003+10:00

A few days after Oliver's birth, while I was sitting by his side in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, a nurse paused to ask me how I was doing. I think my numb look and tear filled eyes answered her question. She told me that the level of stress on a parent with a baby in intensive care is greater than that on a soldier heading into combat. I can't say if this is true or not, but what we were grappling with was so much more complicated. There simply are no words powerful enough to capture the depth of grief, confusion, and emotional turbulence that Shami and I went through, and continue to go through every day, even one year after the birth of our little boy. Oliver's first birthday brings back memories we wish we could erase from our minds forever, but the consequences of that day will never allow us to forget. Some of you know quite a bit about what happened, and what we are going through. Others know very little. Perhaps more as therapy for myself than for any other reason, I thought I would write down a little bit of our story. Feel no obligation to read on.

We were thrilled when we found out I was pregnant. I had waited for a very long time to start this new chapter in my life. My pregnancy was healthy, and we were filled with hope and anticipation. I exercised, ate well, and read all the books. We were going to do this right! Shami and I were booked into the Birth Centre of the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, the major teaching hospital in Sydney. It was perfect for us – I wanted to have a laid back, quiet and natural childbirth, yet we were comforted that should anything go wrong we would be well taken care of at this major hospital.

Three days after my due date I finally went into labor. We were beyond excited – this was it! We labored at home through the night, and arrived at the Birth Centre at 4:30 in the morning. When my water broke at 8:30 am there was meconium in the amniotic fluid and we moved to the Labor Ward to be monitored more closely. We were reassured that this was not uncommon, happening about 20% of the time, and that we should not worry. So we settled into the new room, and I was fitted with a continuous heart-rate monitor. I was disappointed that the baby would have to be checked by a doctor before I could hold him, but I understood that was what needed to happen. The excitement didn't subside because I knew I would still have my baby boy very soon. Shami was an incredible and tireless support, and I anticipated the rush of emotions I would feel when I finally held my baby in my arms. I was so eager to meet him, the prize at the end, and it kept me going through a long and hard labor. How I looked forward to cuddling and nursing my baby. How I looked forward to telling our family and friends all about our new little boy. How I looked forward to bringing him home, rocking him to sleep, playing with him, watching him grow, learn and explore the world. I dreamed about his future as I looked forward to our new life together as a family.

Our little boy was born on September 11th, 2007, at 12:30 in the afternoon. A fitting day, I suppose, for how things ended up. After two and a quarter hours of pushing, an episiotomy and a third degree tear, our baby finally came. The joy ended. In an instant our world turned upside down. Our happiness, our dreams, and our future were torn from us. Things went so terribly wrong.

Our baby lay there, quiet, limp, and motionless. The midwives were stunned. Then the whirlwind started. They clipped the cord. He was not breathing. His heart was not beating. A resident was standing by to deal with meconium, he was not expecting to revive a dead baby. Soon there must have been a dozen people surrounding the crash cart. I looked through an acrid and prickly fog at a scene I did not understand. There was a swarm of frantic doctors saying unpleasant things in unpleasant tones. I remember the clock on the crash cart, counting the seconds up and up... nothing... nothing... It took them 6 minutes to get his tiny heart beating, and each second was an eternity. We do not know for how much longer than that our little boy had been without oxygen. Our precious baby, who was just was trying to be born, had the cruelest entry into this world. He was a strong 4.02 kilos (8.8 lbs), and a fighter. But he used up all his reserves until his head and his heart just could not keep up.

Our poor, helpless little baby. He scored a mercy 1 on his Apgar, for color, and had a horrifying blood pH of 6.9. Shami held onto his little toe as they revived him, and I asked that he stay with him as they carted him off to the NICU – one of the best, we were told. Luckily, that was just down the hall from where he was born. I could not accompany them, and wouldn't see them again for many hours. I lay in shock in a pool of blood where I had given birth to him. On top of everything I had a placenta that would not detach. After many failed attempts to deliver it I was finally wheeled to surgery to have it removed manually. It had been a healthy placenta. We were later told that the sudden switch of the euphoric mothering hormones to stress hormones could wreak havoc like this. So after a completely drug-free labor and delivery, I was given an epidural. Actually two, as the first one did not work. I lay there bleeding, waiting several hours through two epidurals and the procedure, not knowing what was going on with my baby. I had massive blood loss and became extremely weak and anemic. But I don't think there is any suffering that can compare with the absolute despair of knowing that your newborn baby was fighting to stay alive with unknown brain damage.

Hours later I was wheeled into the NICU on my recovery bed to get a glimpse of my son before being taken to my room. It was a horrifying sight. He was covered in medical paraphernalia. He was intubated, with a machine breathing for him. There were IV drips, brain monitors (to detect seizures) and many other wires, tubes and devices covering his cold little body. And he was indeed cold, as they were chilling his core temperature down for three days in an effort to reduce secondary brain damage. He lay there on ice packs, eyes closed, just existing. I don't know how I existed. I am amazed one can endure such excruciating grief and not just crumble away and die.

The emotions swirling inside us were intense, scary and confusing, yet we had to function and be caregivers from day one. Oliver needed us to be there for him. We had no space to deal with our loss. Staying in the hospital's maternity ward with all the healthy mothers and babies was a cruel punishment for us. For ten days we were surrounded by proud fathers and beaming mothers who were resting and being pampered. The women glowed in the happiness of new motherhood. We did not belong in their world. In a daze Shami would help me hobble past all the new parents learning to bathe their perfect babies, past all the cheerful visitors smiling, laughing, and celebrating. On our way down to the NICU we would walk past breast feeding classes as I clutched in my shaky hand the colostrum or milk I had expressed drop by drop into syringes. It was to be frozen and tube fed to our baby when they thought he might be strong enough to tolerate it. But worse than staying there amongst the happy new families was being discharged: leaving Oliver in the NICU, driving home with an empty car seat, and stepping into our apartment without our baby was unbearable. I wished the grief would kill me.

Oliver stayed in the hospital for forty days. The beeps, smells, and sadness of the place are burned deep into our psyche. Shami and I spent almost all our time there. He would stay late, I would go in early, and much like this entire year, we survived only because we did not have a choice. On October 20th, 2007, Oliver was discharged, and we brought our injured little boy home.

Today, September 11, 2008, Oliver is one year old. He is a precious little boy, and he looks very much like his dad. He has an impish grin, and treats us to little laughs every now and then. He has lovely long lashes and gorgeous dark eyes, and when he smiles he reveals the cutest little dimple that warms our hearts. Even with all his discomfort and limitations, Oliver is able to find some time to be happy. He loves to go for walks outside, he enjoys his music, and his own sneezes delight him (ours, not so much!) He is a sweet natured boy at heart, in spite of all the obstacles he has to deal with.

The consequences of his injury, however, are severe and far reaching. An MRI at one week of age showed signs of significant hypoxia resulting in "profound and acute" damage to his brain, mostly the basal ganglia. This was confirmed by a second MRI at three months. At seven months a neurologist officially diagnosed cerebral palsy, predicting that it would likely develop into a mixture of spastic and athetoid CP. He could not say for sure, but he indicated his concern that Oliver's cognition would be significantly impaired as well. We see a brightness in his eyes and an engagement with his world that makes us hope otherwise. No doctor will venture to make any positive predictions about Oliver's future. Everything is a game of "wait and see." So, although the present is beyond difficult, the future remains an unknown and even scarier place.

At one year of age Oliver's challenges are already great. He cannot roll over, sit on his own, use his arms, or grab a toy. He has never been able to feed by mouth, and receives all his food through a tube surgically inserted into his stomach. He continues to have a weak and uncoordinated swallow, and we don't know if he will ever be able to eat, drink, or talk. On top of this he suffers from terrible reflux, causing frequent vomits and extreme distress both day and night. At any moment he can go red in the face as his stomach spasms and churns, until he cannot hold down his food any longer. Trying to get (and keep) enough food in him is an unrelenting battle, and affects so many aspects of his life and progress. His breathing can be labored, and more serious medical intervention may be required if we find that he is aspirating fluid into his lungs. Every bad turn feels like the end of the world all over again.

Even a year on we have not had the time or space to mourn the child he should have been, or the life we should have had. Some days are better than others, but they are always a challenge to get through. We can still smile and laugh, and occasionally people even comment on how well I am doing. But there is a constant underlying awareness of our situation that has seeped into every cell of my body and has altered the way I view everything. Powerful emotions still overcome me and tears still flow freely, especially at night. But I weep with no resolution. I am told that for the rest of our lives we will not only live with chronic sorrow, but continue to jump between such feelings as anxiety, jealousy, denial, guilt, fear, anger, depression, joy and gut-wrenching grief. I know that in time I will learn to cope better with our situation, and perhaps I will adjust to our own version of normal. I understand that the unrelenting work and challenges will be rewarded with accomplishments, maybe big, maybe small. But he shouldn't have to struggle so hard for every little thing. We love Oliver. He is a super baby, and will be a super child and adult. He already makes us proud to be his parents. Yet, as we see those around us enjoying the path of life we long to be on, there remains an ever-present sadness for what we have lost, what we never had, and what will never be.

In writing this essay there is so much I have glossed over, and even more that I have not mentioned at all. I see how inadequate words can be. But perhaps it will help you understand why we have not posted too much to our blog, or been more in touch with all of you since Oliver's birth. We want to thank those of you who have reached out to us this past year. This sad turn of events has been an isolating experience and your caring words and big and small acts of kindness, from near and far, have meant a great deal to us. It has deepened even further our gratitude for having such loving and supportive families who, although living half a world away in North America and India, are there for us no matter what.

So here we are on Oliver's first birthday. It marks the end of a very hard year, one we have survived only because we had no choice. Perhaps the next year will be easier, but it's likely to be twice as hard. For now, there is no way to tell.

Cockatoo attack!

2008-08-26T22:00:00.001+10:00

About a year ago, when we were getting close to harvesting our kumquats, we woke to find the entire tree had been ravaged by cockatoos. Dozens of kumquats were scattered on the deck, each with a big hole though it. We wouldn't have minded so much if they had been hungry birds, but they just pecked at them and discarded them!

As I was sitting with Oliver today, I glanced outside to find some cockatoos helping themselves to our kumquats once again. I jumped up to shoo them away, but took a moment to snap a few pictures and a little video first. Then I picked as many ripe kumquats as I could, but many of them still need more time on the tree.

It is hard to be too angry though, as the cockatoos are awfully cute!

Our Ithaca visit

2008-07-20T22:00:00.003+10:00

Our trip to Ithaca worked out to be much harder than we had ever imagined. Oliver fell sick with a high fever, and none of us got a moment's rest for the entire 28 hour journey. We breathed an exhausted sigh of relief when we finally landed in Ithaca.

Left: Weary travelers -- how good it felt to be met at the Ithaca Airport by my parents, and my sister Caitlin, who was behind the camera.
Right: Oliver was quite sick and feverish for the first several days in Ithaca, but his cousins still enjoyed getting to know him. Meghan and Oliver with Shannon, Mariah and Kieran.

When he was feeling better, Oliver had quite a nice time playing with his grandparents.

Left: Oliver enjoyed attention from his cousin Devon.
Right: Ian and Wei, my brother and sister-in-law, came down from Canada with Molly and Eamonn. Here are Eamonn and Molly making a rocket ship with Mariah.

A family photo. Unfortunately Shami was in Boston at a meeting. We'll photoshop him in at a later date! You can also see Oliver's newest cousin, Eliza, being camera shy and hiding inside her mom's belly. Eliza Madigan Kennedy was born on July 1, 2008, nearly two weeks overdue.

Left: Shami, Oliver Jeanine, Sean and Eliza
Right: Caitlin, Shannon, baby Eliza, Kieran, Meghan, Oliver, Barbara.

Suddenly Oliver doesn't look so small any more!

My good friend Alex came to visit from Boston. It was good to see her.

We thought that the trip back couldn't be much worse than the trip to Ithaca, but we were very, very wrong. Not only did Oliver have another high fever, but he picked up a gastro bug as well. We got lucky and were upgraded to Business class thanks to the Pope (long story), but Oliver cried and thrashed the whole way. We actually had concerned flight attendants asking us if we needed to divert to Honolulu or Nadi. We made it to Sydney, but spent our first night back at the Emergency room...

Sigh... we missed our family in Ithaca. But we did learn that pure exhaustion is a sure-fire cure for jet lag!

A trip to Ithaca

2008-06-23T00:01:00.002+10:00

Oliver is over nine months old, but he still hasn't met his grandparents in Ithaca. His American (and Canadian) cousins and aunts and uncles are all very eager to meet him as well, so we're leaving today on a three week trip to Ithaca. We're extremely worried about the long trip (28 hours door to door), the tight connections, dealing with tube feeding and vomiting and pressure in the ears, changes of clothing and paperwork and a million other things. Oliver "volunteered" to travel in checked baggage with his passport and his blankie, but then we decided that it probably wasn't such a good idea...

We've been too busy to post much of anything recently, but here's a picture that Meghan took that we particularly like...

A country for Oliver (Part 1 of many)

2008-03-16T16:00:00.002+11:00

Australia does not offer citizenship by birth, so at six months of age, Oliver Akash is still officially stateless. He has potential claims to citizenship of three countries: India through his dad, the United States through his mum, and Australia through birth and residence (though he must be ordinarily resident here on his tenth birthday, whatever that means). But he has more pressing matters to deal with: learning to swallow, keeping his food down, smiling through appointments with his physical therapist, pediatrician, surgeon, opthalmologist, neurologist, gastroenterologist, ...

So we started his US passport application this week. Of course there's paperwork, down to listing every day his parents have ever spent outside the US. But a bigger challenge was getting a passport photo that meets the exacting specs of the State department. Meghan quickly realized that we were better off with him lying flat on a white sheet rather than trying to hold him upright. And we were off! Ollie was quite a good sport through the process - we didn't get a single pouty face, although we did get quite a variety of other expressions.

Six months

2008-03-11T22:00:00.001+11:00

Oliver Akash is six months old already! Sometimes it feels like a few days, and sometimes it feels like six years...

Here he is, dressed in his NASA suit (a hand-me-down from Finn, Laura Beth, and Bryan) and sitting in his Special Tomato chair (on loan from our occupational therapist to help support him upright). And below, a little video clip where he attempts to talk up a storm. Good moments like this are a rare pleasure.

Home after Surgery

2008-01-14T21:05:00.000+11:00

Little Oliver Akash had a date with his surgeon for a gastrostomy on Thursday, January 10th. The operation went smoothly enough, but it was a hard four day stretch for all of us in the recovery ward. As he recovered, Oliver gradually started receiving milk again until he was up to full feeds, but now through his stomach button. Not having a tube down his nose and throat seemed to make a real difference, because Ollie was in a remarkably good mood overall. Today, in spite of the ward being shut down by a gastroenteritis outbreak (ugh), we managed to make our escape from Sydney Children's Hospital: home at last!

So now we can begin to work on his oral exercises without the constant anxiety and unhappiness over the nasal tube. It won't be quick, and it won't be easy, but at least this is a start...

Go, Dog. Go!

2008-01-09T22:39:00.000+11:00

Here we are, reading Go, Dog. Go! together... Isn't that a sweet smile?

Today is hopefully the last day Oliver has a naso-gastric tube, which is how he's been fed so far. Tomorrow we're going in to the Sydney Children's Hospital, where he is scheduled for a laproscopic gastrostomy to replace his nasal tube with one directly into his stomach. We're both worried and hopeful at the same time: a surgical procedure on a little baby is always a tricky thing, but being free of the nasal tube might be a big step for all of us, especially Oliver.

(This post is missing a lot of the back story. We're hoping to fill that in, but we're still in crisis management mode. Some time soon, though...)

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T22:00:00.000+11:00

Well, 2007 was an interesting year which ended on a rather harrowing note for us. There will be lots of challenges in 2008 and beyond, but lets hope for a brighter year ahead... A very happy new year to all our readers, and thanks for all your support and good wishes.

Snoozing

2007-12-25T10:00:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas! The blog has been snoozing while we've been trying to catch our breath over the last three months. It's a long, complicated story, and we'll fill in the back story over time. For now, here's little Oliver Akash Kennedy Chatterjee, snoozing with his giraffe on Christmas eve. We hope you all have a very merry Christmas, and a wonderful holiday season!

Forty weeks!

2007-09-08T22:00:00.000+10:00

So we made it to forty weeks ... September 7th was our official due date.

Let's hope we have something to show for it very soon, because Meghan doesn't want to get to forty one, let alone forty two!

APEC and the Opera House

2007-09-07T10:00:00.000+10:00

This week, the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation organization is having its annual summit in Sydney. President George W. Bush is in town, although he's not entirely sure whether he's at an APEC meeting or an OPEC meeting. For Sydneysiders, this means massive disruptions to daily life: access to the central business district has been restricted all week, the Opera House precinct has been closed to ordinary mortals, and Friday is a public holiday because of all the road closures.

Apparently Australia is spending over 150 million dollars on security. But that hasn't stopped TV comedians from dressing up as Osama bin Laden and getting through multiple layers of security by flying the Canadian flag. Seriously, click that link - the picture is priceless!

Before all this disruption kicked in, Meghan and I squeezed in a show at the Opera House (a gift from Jennifer and Joe - thanks!). We watched Imagine Toi, a solo show by a former Cirque de Soleil performer. It was nice to have an evening to ourselves before baby makes three (any time now), and we enjoyed ourselves quite a bit.

Happy Father's Day

2007-09-02T21:05:00.000+10:00

The first Sunday in September is Father's Day in Australia. As you can see, I'm still working on Shami's gift, but it should be done soon. Stay tuned!

Lunar Eclipse

2007-08-29T23:00:00.000+10:00

This week Australia experienced a total lunar eclipse, and we had a great view from our deck. Thanks to a tripod, an itchy finger on the shutter button, and some photoshop expertise from Meghan, here's a quick sequence of how the moon looked. From 6:51 pm to 10:24 pm on the 28th, the Earth's shadow swept over the full moon. For an hour and a half in between, no part of the moon received direct sunlight, but the scattered red light from a thousand sunrises and sunsets around the Earth lit it up with an eerie red glow...

It was astonishing how dramatic and sudden the change was between a black-and-white moon and one lit up in red! We also "discovered" something while watching the eclipse. As you can see, the Earth's shadow enters and leaves the moon at different angles, proving yet again that the Earth is round - or at least, not rectangular!

(Update: These frames were captured on a Canon EOS Digital XT with a Canon 100/f2.8 lens. Exposures ranged from 1/100 sec to 3 sec. With a telescope, you can do much better: for example, see this, and this beautiful sequence.)

A year of passionfruit

2007-08-25T23:04:00.000+10:00

The pictures below were taken exactly a year apart. Can you spot the similarities and the differences? We still have a nice deck, there's still a bridge in the background, and the passionfruit tastes just as good as it did last August.

In the meantime, we've acquired furniture, bought a car, traveled a bit, seen some of the local flora and fauna, even held a baby wombat, and much more - all documented for you right here on this blog. As you can see, our life promises to be quite different starting very soon, so here's to a brand new adventure ahead!

Amelie

2007-08-22T22:00:00.000+10:00

Stephanie and Mike had a beautiful baby girl on June 12, 2007. Shami and I have seen them twice since then, and so we have been able to practice our baby holding techniques a little bit.

It has been wonderful getting to know Mike and Stephanie. They are Australian, but actually lived in Ithaca for a few years. They are both veterinarians, and Mike worked with Jeanine at Cornell before they moved back to Australia a little while ago. It is very nice to have people around who know and miss Ithaca, including Ludgate Farms, Monkey Run, and even snow!

A few weeks ago we drove up to Mona Vale, where they live - a little under an hour's drive up north, near the ocean. It was wonderful to see them and to meet Amelie for the first time, at the tender age of 5 weeks.

Last weekend we had them over for dinner. Amelie is now 10 weeks old, and it amazed us how much she had grown in just a few weeks! Shami and I took turns holding her, and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. Good baby holding practice.

Memories of a year ago

2007-08-14T22:00:00.000+10:00

One year ago today, we were standing in the Syracuse, NY airport with all our luggage, waiting to fly to Sydney for the very first time.

Ah, memories!

Baby gets a dresser

2007-08-06T23:00:00.000+10:00

Having a baby + having a car = trips to IKEA for baby furniture!

Et voila! Two hours later, a dresser for baby clothes.

... don't miss our lamb named Woollahra posing on top of the dresser!

On Civic-mindedness

2007-07-13T23:00:00.000+10:00

In our pre-natal classes, it has been drilled into us that Australia has very strict rules about transporting infants: you must have a car seat that meets specs in order to bring baby home. It would be a rather long walk home carrying a car seat, so we figured that we first needed a car! Over the past few months, we'd spent some time looking at our options, pricing cars and figuring out the (very pricey) Sydney car market. Well, this Friday the 13th was our lucky day!

Both of us owned Honda Civics in the US, and we've had a soft spot for them. So we were a bit disappointed to find that they were not that common in Sydney, and tended to be expensive. But we came across an online listing for a 2003 Civic from a private seller in the neighboring suburb of Drumoyne, and went to inspect it last week. It was in absolutely beautiful shape, and we got a good price to boot. Sold! On Friday, we handed over a check, got the keys, and drove over to the Traffic Authority to complete the paperwork. And as we drove our new car back home, a beautiful rainbow appeared...

Fernando and the cockatoos

2007-06-30T23:00:00.000+10:00

Our friend Fernando was in Australia recently on one of his regular observing trips at Parkes, and we enjoyed hanging out with him one afternoon. We walked through Circular Quay, had hot chocolate at the Opera House, and then managed a leisurely stroll through the Botanic gardens. We even caught a flock of cockatoos having their dinner in the gardens before it got dark and a huge full moon rose. A laid back Sydney evening!

Three parties in two days!

2007-05-27T22:00:00.000+10:00

On the night of May 27th, Kieran exclaimed that he thought it was pretty cool that we got to have three parties in two days - and indeed it was! What made it all the nicer was that Shami, my brother Ian and his kids, and my friend Alex, were all in town for the festivities.

It all started on May 26th. Sean's birthday is the day before mine, and Jeanine had us all over for a lovely dinner, and of course birthday cake!

The next day, I expected to have a relaxed and low key birthday. Caitlin, Jamie and their kids had a big pot-luck luncheon to attend at their Quaker Meeting, and would be gone for most of the morning and afternoon. So I thought it might be nice to have a laid back brunch with my parents at the Kendal dining hall, where they live. So I suggested this, and the plan was on. Little did I know what I just set ourselves up for!

I walked in to my parent's place, with Shami and Alex right behind me, ready to go to brunch. All of a sudden there was all this commotion and yelling, and there were all these people. Caitlin was there, and I wondered "Why is Caitiln not at her event?" And then it all came together. They were yelling "Surprise!" and believe me I was SURPRISED! They threw us a surprise baby shower. I was caught utterly off guard, as was Shami. Even my cousin Annette and her two girls Elizabeth and Cecilia were there. They had all put together a lovely brunch... and I got to eat those tasty quiches Caitlin had so painstakenly prepared for the non-existent pot luck. I was so touched that everyone had done this for us. I have never been so surprised or felt so special.

There was food, family and much merriment. And gifts, of course!

Below left: Elizabeth and Cecilia drew a picture of a "baby shower" on a card for us! Right: Opening gifts with the kids.

My mom added all sorts of small touches, including little necklaces, small party favors, and a basket of handmade fabric fortune cookies, into which she stuffed little bits of advice for the baby. Everyone picked one, and we took turns reading them out loud.

Some examples:
"Put everything in your mouth. The rotten stuff is the tastiest and will get a big reaction from mom and dad."

"If you feel the need to spit up, wait until your mother has a clean shirt on."

"Parents sleep too much. You must correct this by waking them as often as you can."

Ian reading the note from his "fortune cookie".

I read the very last one, which, as luck would have it, turned out to be the sweetest of them all:
"You are the center of the universe: the sun, the moon and the stars all shine on you, and you can reach out to everything"

Above: Shami reading his fortune, and Papa looking at photo albums with Shannon and Molly.

Sisters through thick and thin... it is my turn to be thick! Caitlin is always a wonderful support for me.

As if this was not enough, there was another celebration in the evening for my birthday. We all gathered for a meal together.

There were so many people, that we all couldn't fit around one table!

Dinner was, of course, followed by birthday cake. There were two this year! My favorite, angel food cake with strawberries and cream, as well as a chocolate one for the chocoholics in the group. As a result I got to make two birthday wishes this year!

More gifts followed, including this beautiful hand quilted table runner my mother made for me. It now brightens up our living room here in Sydney.

It was an exhausting but wonderful day. One that I will remember for a long time! Thank you to everyone who made it so special for me.

More pictures from Ithaca

2007-05-26T22:01:00.000+10:00

As promised, here are some more pictures from Ithaca.

Although she has four kids and unending activities, Cailtin still finds the time and energy to work on her flower and vegetable gardens. One morning I helped her mulch a small patch in front of their shed.

The kids keep busy with all sorts of activities. Kieran plays the Sax in his school's band. Here he is, practicing before school. Notice his outfit... Caitlin bought it for him from Fab India, in Delhi, back in February. Shannon is also posing in her Indian outfit, a gift from their new Indian neighbors.

Left, Kieran and Shannon. Right, Kieran marching with his school band during the annual Ithaca Festival Parade (front and center, in the blue shirt and red croc shoes).

I was lucky enough to be in Ithaca for Shannon's dance school's annual performance extravaganza. It was quite an amazing show. Here she is (in front) dancing her Jazz number. She also danced ballet and tap!

Devon and Kieran were once again in their school's annual musical play. Unfortunately I was not able to stay long enough to see the performance, but I heard that they both did great.

More pictures of the kids:

Girls in chairs: cousins Mariah and Molly.

Left: Mariah heads out for a stroll; Right: Petting a horse with her grandmother.

There were some cool nights, but also some scorching hot days. One hot day included a trip to the local pool, where Devon and Kieran had fun with their orca whale.

Left: Up a tree; Right: Basket case?

Below: Shannon, Kieran and Eamonn having fun on the slide.

I'll post about the baby shower soon!

Visiting Ithaca

2007-05-25T22:00:00.000+10:00

I had a wonderful trip to Ithaca. While it was ramping up to winter in upside-down Australia, in Ithaca it was spring. The lush green of May was wonderful to see. The lilacs were in full bloom, and looked and smelled so good!

The flight to the other side of the world was long, but seeing my family made every second of it worthwhile. I was sorry to leave Shami in Washington DC, where he continued on to his conference in Green Bank, but I was eager to continue on my way to the Syracuse airport. My flight got in around midnight, and Caitlin and my mom volunteered to make the long, late night drive to meet me. We chatted the whole way back.

Since we got in so late, it wasn't until the next morning that I got to see my sister's kids... Devon, Kieran, Shannon and Mariah. It was great to see them all! Mariah, Caitlin's youngest (soon to be three), changed the most since I last saw her nine months ago - but she remembered me well. It was such a treat when a sleepy Mariah ran straight to me and wanted me to read her a book! My parents also came over, and we all had a good time together.

It was especially nice that for the Memorial Day weekend my brother Ian and his two kids, Eamonn and Molly could come down from Canada. We missed my sister-in-law, Wei, however, who sadly was not able to come. It was great to have all six of my nieces and nephews together at once. Also, my good friend Alex travelled from Boston to see me. It felt great to spend time with everyone.

It was too bad Shami only had a couple of days to spend in Ithaca, but he made the most of his time there, including work and play. I don't have any pictures of him working, but I do have a couple of him playing...

Left, playing a video game on the Wii with Devon and Kieran.
Right, giving Molly a push on the swing.

One evening we enjoyed having dinner with friends at the ABC Cafe, an old Ithaca favorite.

From left to right: Chris, Bill, Geri (almost 8 months pregnant here!) Nicole, Schultzie, Meghan, Shami, Jeanine, Sean and Bruce.

I did a lot of shopping while back in the US, since things can be so expensive in Sydney. It was fun to buy things for the baby! There were also boxes of baby hand-me-downs from Caitlin, as well as from Ian and Wei, to sort through. Throw in the great gifts we received at our baby shower (I'll post about this soon) and we ended up with quite a collection of stuff. On the eve of Shami's departure, Caitlin, Alex, and my mom helped me sort through the piles in order to send as much back to Sydney with him as possible!

Shami practices his parenting skills as he gives a doll a ride in a hand-me-down Baby Bjorn!

More pictures from the trip are coming soon.

The Green Bank observatory

2007-05-22T22:00:00.000+10:00

As you drive out towards Green Bank, in rural West Virginia, cell phone service fades away, and most of the FM dial hisses with empty static. In a world awash with radio noise, the 13,000 square mile National Radio Quiet zone is an oasis of silence. And in its heart sits the Robert C. Byrd Green Bank radio telescope, part of the National Radio Astronomy Observatory. At 100 meters in diameter, the GBT is the world's largest fully-steerable single dish. (It is much larger than the 64 m Parkes telescope, and while the 305 m Arecibo dwarfs them both, Arecibo is not fully steerable.)

The massive telescope also has a rather unusual design: it is an off-axis section of a much larger parabolic surface. Its view of the sky is not obstructed by the usual support arms or receivers, leading to wonderful performance characteristics. Each of its two thousand and four surface panels can also be individually adjusted, allowing the telescope to precisely focus radio waves as short as 3 mm in wavelength. However, the unusual design means that each panel is unique, adding cost and complexity, and the telescope is so massive that the track it turns on has repeatedly buckled, leading to shutdowns and expensive repairs. That's what construction by the lowest bidder will do, I guess...

Meanwhile, in spite of the maintenance issues, the Robert C. Byrd telescope (named after West Virgina's powerful senator, like most other large projects in the state) has become one of the most productive radio telescopes in the world. Nestled in the Allegheny mountains, far away from the rest of civilization, it provided a serene backdrop to our pulsar workshop.

Time Travel

2007-05-20T22:00:00.000+10:00

We went on a short trip to the US this May: Meghan visited family in Ithaca, and I went to a workshop at Green Bank before joining her there for a few days. The first step, of course, was dealing with paperwork. I needed a visa, and the required documentation grew to quite a thick pile! After a delay that tested our patience, the visa finally arrived two days before our departure.

Starting with Magellan's first circumnavigation of the globe (or even earlier), travel across the international date line has always been interesting. ('Around the World in 80 Days', anyone?) When we flew to Australia for the first time, we simply lost the 15th of August. On this trip back to the US, we got that missing day back by living through a very looooong 19th of May.

Below, Meghan demonstrates how to time-travel: we left Sydney at 1300 hours (1 pm) on the 19th, and arrived in Los Angeles well in time to connect for Washington DC at 12:45 pm on the same day...

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-15T22:00:00.000+10:00

We celebrated our first Mother's Day this year, in anticipation of Meghan becoming a mother in a few months! After a laid back day, I treated Meghan to dinner at the revolving restaurant on top of Centrepoint Tower, the tallest building in Sydney. We enjoyed a leisurely trip around 360 degrees of the Sydney skyline and admired the twinkling city lights as we had dinner. There are big, exciting changes afoot in our life, and this was a chance to share a relaxed and leisurely moment for the two of us...

Left: "Mum" and "Bub" (we're picking up our Aussie lingo); Right: the Tower.
Below: The Sydney skyline at sunset from the Manly ferry.

Above: Us at dinner, high above the city.
Below: Views of the city (blurry, because the restaurant was moving!)

A drive to Jervis Bay

2007-04-30T22:00:00.000+10:00

The last weekend that David was in Sydney, we decided to rent a car and drive down the coast of New South Wales. Our first destination was the Royal National Park. Just south of the city, this is the second oldest national park in the world, after Yellowstone: it dates back to 1879! The park has a wide variety of terrain, and in spite of the growth of the city, it is still home to a wide variety of plants, animals, and birds. We stopped briefly at the Visitor Center, where Meghan enjoyed a conversation with the cockatoos, and then we continued on our drive.

The Grand Pacific drive leads south from the park, through coastal towns, lush vegetation, and sweeping views of the ocean. The most famous part of the drive is the Sea Cliff bridge, which hugs sheer cliffs and sweeps out over the open ocean for 665m (about half a mile). It makes for breathtaking vistas...

After a longish drive (on the left side of the road!), we arrived at Jervis Bay. The Jervis Bay territory has an odd history: it was bought by the Federal government in 1915 so that the landlocked capital at Canberra would have access to the sea. Once the Capital Territory became a state [Correction: Became self-governing. Thanks, Anonymous] in 1989, Jervis Bay entered a weird limbo. Most of the bay is either a navy base, or protected as part of the Booderee national park. With its clear water and white sand, Jervis bay is a beautiful, unspoilt bit of Australia.

The national park is also home to a lot of wildlife. As we pulled into the parking lot, we surprised a wallaby, which quickly bounded away, and friendly (but non-native) lorikeets swarmed over us looking for food as we set out on a short walking trail. The path led us out to tidal rock flats, with their bizarre sculpted shapes and hollows.

But we still hadn't seen any kangaroos or wallabies since the first one in the parking lot. As we continued on our walk, dusk set in rapidly, and we started hearing suspicious rustles in the bush, and even the crash-boing-boing-boing of a startled 'roo fleeing through the shrubbery as we approached. And then, finally, we heard a rustle less than 10 feet away from us, and froze. As we slowly inched our way forward, we saw a couple of kangaroos (or wallabies?). They took a while to decide that we were harmless, but after that, even flash photography didn't seem to faze them...

Cockatoo Island

2007-04-26T23:00:00.000+10:00

Our deck looks out over part of Sydney's inner harbour, and we've always been intrigued by Cockatoo Island, with its abandoned industrial buildings. It just so happens that the Harbour Trust recently opened up the island to visitors, and so when David was in town, we took a ferry and set off to explore the island with him.

Left: The view of Cockatoo Island from our deck; Right: On the island.

Cockatoo Island is the largest island in the harbour, and its history is fascinating. It was used as a prison from 1839, and the convicts reshaped the island extensively, quarrying stone and building silos, tunnels, and docks. The convicts were finally transferred to the mainland in 1869 because of "poor living conditions". One can only imagine how appalling the conditions were! After that, the prison was converted to an Industrial School and Reformatory for girls, and in what must count as one of the dumbest decisions ever, a training ship for delinquent and wayward boys was anchored off the shore at the same time. Sure enough, there were "unauthorized visits" back and forth, and that arrangement didn't last long.

On the island. Notice the Sydney Harbour bridge on the left. On the right, behind the cranes, you can barely see our apartment complex in the distance.

Cockatoo Island came into its own as a shipyard and a naval dock in the early 1900s, and during World War II, it was the most important dock and repair facility for the Allied forces in the Pacific, especially after the fall of Singapore. There were Japanese submarine attacks, as well as air raids, and the tunnel dug through the island by convicts was used as an air raid shelter.

After the war, Cockatoo Island continued as a Navy facility until 1992, when it was shut down. The island was abandoned, and the massive cranes and docks and workshops just sat there and rusted. When we walked around, it was an eerie experience: what once used to be a hive of activity now lay echoing and empty, an industrial wasteland.

There are big plans afoot, though. The massive turbine hall has been used as a concert venue, and there was a already a small art exhibition in the jail facilities. While parts of the island will be preserved as a Heritage site, Sydney is seeking bids to convert most of it into commercial and retail space. I think we got to see it at a rare moment, open to the public but not yet fully reclaimed and Disneyfied. Let's see how things develop.

The Manly Sea Eagles

2007-04-23T22:00:00.000+10:00

Australia is crazy about sports, and "football" means different things to different people here. There's rugby league, rugby union, and Aussie rules, all of which are full-contact sports, as well as soccer (no hands!), and even some American football. Each game has its own devoted following, and somehow, none of this gets in the way of people following cricket too!

Bryan is a hard-core supporter of the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles, a rugby league team based in the Northern beach suburb of Narrabeen. When our collaborator David visited us from Boston, Bryan took us to watch the Sea Eagles play the Gold Coast Titans, so that we could experience this essential bit of Australiana for ourselves.

Astronomers observing (sports) stars in the field.
Shami, Bryan, David, and Stephen: Photo by Meghan, caption thanks to Stephen!

Bryan gave us a quick rundown on the rules of the game, taught us the catch-all statement for the game post-mortem ("The big guy had a great game, eh?") and even loaned us Manly regalia for the full effect, and then we were off!

It was a cool, rainy afternoon as the Sea Eagles played the visiting Titans. It was a fast and athletic game, with plenty of acrobatic moves and bone-crunching tackles. The stands were packed with Manly colors, and there was plenty of hearty cheering for the home team and booing of bad calls by the referees.

Fortunately, Manly won a famous victory, scoring 3 tries and 3 goals to 1 and 1, and the final score of 20-6 made for a happy crowd at the end of the game!

April gatherings

2007-04-15T21:36:00.000+10:00

This April we enjoyed a few get-togethers with friends and family. Here are pictures from a couple of these gatherings.

On Easter Monday, my cousin Sue invited us over for lunch with her family. We got to meet her wonderful parents, Julie and Gordon, who were visiting from the U.S. Afterwards, we all went to tea at her friend Annabelle's house. The kids enjoyed swimming in the pool while we had tasty desserts and tea. As well as being a scientist, Annabelle is a wonderful artist and illustrator.

Photo: Gordon, Annabelle, Mark, Mia, Sue, Meghan, Julie.

The next evening we had Sue and her family, as well as Sean and Jeanine, over for dinner. Here is a group photo of all of us:

Back: Sean, Jeanine, Meghan, Shami;
Front: Gordon, Chiara & Cary, Kacy & Sue, Julie.

Sean and Jeanine have been living across the harbour in a suburb called Mosman. They recently had us over for dinner, and to see their fabulous view of the Sydney city skyline. On our way back home, while waiting for the ferry, Shami and I were treated to an unexpected fireworks display! It was quite a show, made all the more special because we were the only people enjoying them from our vantage point...

Kangaroos at Parkes

2007-03-27T22:00:00.000+10:00

Along with the big dish at Parkes, the other major attraction for us was the kangaroo population. They come out to graze at dawn and dusk, and while I was observing at the telescope, Meghan enjoyed photographing them. In her quest for the perfectly framed shot, she even found herself standing in a nest of ill-tempered biting fire ants, but managed to take her picture anyway!

Most of the kangaroos were rather shy, and bounded away gracefully when we stopped to look at them. On the other hand, some of them did not look too pleased to be interrupted in their grazing!

And alas, although I lay in wait by the "Kangaroo Crossing" sign for a long time (see the previous post about Parkes ), I never did catch any 'roos crossing the road. Well, except this one case ...

We even managed to capture some video of kangaroos hopping away after we surprised them. If you have enough bandwidth, you can click below and watch them go. (Yes, our very first youtube video, but it is only 8 seconds long.)

Observing at the Parkes radio telescope

2007-03-26T22:30:00.000+10:00

Towards the end of March, Meghan and I drove to Parkes so that I could participate in an observing session. Parkes is a small town about a 6 hour drive from Sydney, deep in central New South Wales, and the Parkes observatory is even further away, in the quiet Australian countryside. As we got close, the dish was visible on the horizon across acres of open farmland, and when we arrived, we were very excited to see the "Kangaroo Crossing" sign on the observatory grounds. (We spent a while waiting next to this sign, hoping for a kangaroo to hop by: more on that later on.)

The Parkes radio telescope is huge: 64 meters (or 210 feet) in diameter. It is also fully steerable and has top-notch receivers. With its view of the Southern skies, where the center of our our Galaxy lies, Parkes is one of the most scientifically productive observatories around.

However, one of the biggest claims to fame for Parkes has little to do with astronomy: when Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon on 21st July 1969, the faint television signal from the lunar surface was received by Parkes and relayed, via Houston, to six hundred million eager viewers around the world. The story of the broadcast is an extraordinary mix of dazzling technical skill, political elbowing, near-disasters and grace under pressure. It was dramatized in the movie, The Dish, which is good fun to watch.

When it isn't receiving pictures of the first man on the moon, Parkes is usually doing astronomical observations. Compared to other observatories I've been to, Parkes is unusual in having no operator, just the astronomer on duty and a big red button that has to be pressed every few minutes to verify that they are still awake! I got a crash course in telescope operation, and then it was straight on to an all-night observing session... Hard hats are required on the concrete apron surrounding the telescope, in case a bolt (or worse) falls off the structure: here's a picture of me bringing a hard hat out to Meghan when she dropped by on her morning run, and another of me in the control room after a long night of observing.

When the dish is stowed, it is possible to climb on to the surface, and even to climb to the focus cabin at the very top, where the receivers are housed. I got a chance to make the climb, complete with safety harness, for a quick receiver check. The view out across the plains was beautiful, and looking down was dizzying! (Notice the cars parked at the office building for scale.)

Next to the telescope, the observatory runs a very nice visitor center, and there is also the Dish cafe. Other than that, it is just the astronomers, and the kangaroos. More on that, coming up next.

After the reception

2007-02-21T15:00:00.000+11:00

After the reception things quieted down quite a bit as family and friends returned home. Here is Caitlin sending one last email to her family before leaving for the airport. Shami's nieces (his cousin's little girls) Doyel and Lali, were quite sad to see Caitlin go, and so were we.

A photo with Caitlin before leaving for the airport: Mashimoni, Chumki, Maini, Caitlin, Lalmashi, Kaki, and Mami (Shami's mother's brother's wife).

You will see that Shami's mother is wearing a cast. Unfortunately she broke her arm the day before the reception! She was in quite a lot of pain, and it was especially hard for her to be immobilized when there was so much to do. But she is incredibly strong and stoic, and handled everything very well.

We spent the next evening opening presents. Although the invitation cards requested no gifts, we were nonetheless inundated! We would like to thank everyone for their generosity.

(Shami is holding up a quilted bag that my mother Barbara made, as a gift to Shami's mom. She uses it and loves it! At the reception it was used to collect cards.)

Soon the house was pretty quiet, with just Shami's parents, us, and Mashimoni left. Mashimoni kindly stayed on for a while to help Maini out around the house. Here we are, sitting down to a quiet dinner at home, with dal, a curry and chapatis.

Shami's dad brought home a green coconut so that I could try drinking its sweet milk. Here he is opening it up with a big knife. It was quite good!

And then, it was time to say goodbye to India and head back to Australia. What an amazing two weeks it had been!

The ornamental ear piece below was one of the gifts I received from Shami's parents -- a real family heirloom. There were two of them, one each for me and Uttara. When she got married, Shami's mother received them from her mother-in-law, who had in turn received them from her mother-in-law. They are incredible pieces, made of solid gold with cut emeralds and rubys. Notice the design of the peacock, with its magnificent tail curling around!

The Reception

2007-02-17T21:00:00.000+11:00

Shami's parents arranged a big reception for the four of us: the newlyweds, Shouri & Uttara, and not-so-newlyweds, me & Shami. It was an all day affair, with family gatherings for breakfast and lunch, and then the big event that evening. Luckily I was able to sneak away with Shami and Caitlin for some much needed rest time in between the events!

Walking to lunch, photo by Caitlin: Shami, Shouri, Uttara, Meghan, Chumki and Kaki. Kaki helped me out very much by dressing me in all my saris! This silk red sari was given to me by Lalmashi.

Uttara and I, as the new brides, ceremonially served a sweet rice dish to everyone at the lunch, including Shami's parents (left) and Pishis (right).

Below, at lunch with Shami and Maini.

It was such a wonderful thing that my sister Caitlin was able to travel all the way to India and share all these experiences with me. Her amazing husband Jamie took care of their 4 small kids back in Ithaca for the 10 or so days that she was away. Thanks Jamie! It meant the world to me.

For the evening reception I wore an amazing golden sari, chosen by Shami's father, and all sorts of gold jewelry to go with it. It was truly spectacular, and very much fun to wear.

A group photo with Shami's parents, and Uttara's parents.

The reception was an incredible affair. About 300-400 guests were expected, and even more than that showed up!

There were countless people to meet, but everyone was extremely nice and generous. There were many welcoming words, and gorgeous flowers, and many gifts as well. All the time and effort Shami's parents put into the planning paid off, as it was a wonderful, if exhausting, evening.

It was very late at night when we finally wound down. Caitlin and I carried home some of the beautiful flowers at the end of the evening.

At Salt Lake

2007-02-16T22:00:00.000+11:00

Shami's parents' apartment is in an area called Salt Lake. It evidently used to be a quiet suburb on the edge of Kolkata, but has now become much busier with the sprawl and growth of the city.

To welcome us, Shami's cousin Chumki had decorated the stairs and landing of the apartment with "alpona," designs painted with rice flour. We were greeted at the door by Shami's mother, aunts and cousins, where they ritually welcomed me to the family home for the first time.

Pictures: Us with Shami's parents, and me with Chumki and her mother (our Kaki, see below). Chumki gave me a pretty silver necklace.

Later that day Kaki helped me get dressed in beautiful red sari that she had given me, along with some lovely silver jewelry from Mashimoni. When Shouri arrived with Uttara, it was my turn to help welcome the new bride to the family home.

With Shami's mother Sumitra (Maini), and her three sisters. No, I'm not wearing heels!

From left to right: Lalmashi, Maini, Mashimoni, Meghan, Bhalomashi.

In Bengali, your mother's sister is your "Mashi". Your father's sister is your "Pishi". Your father's brother's wife is your "Kaki" or your "Jethi", depending on whether it is an older or younger brother... it goes on and on, and can be very confusing to a newcomer!

The train to Kolkata

2007-02-16T10:00:00.000+11:00

After a great couple of days in Agra and Jaipur, we headed back to Delhi to catch a 4:00 pm train to Kolkata (Calcutta). Our driver negotiated the roads well, but traffic was bad as we came in to Delhi, delaying us quite a bit. We got to the station just on time, and rushed about trying to get to the right platform. The station was noisy, crowded, and the signage was poor. We also had to carry our many bags up and down several long sets of stairs over the tracks. Although we were a bit harried, we made it in just fine.

We traveled on the Rajdhani Express, a fast overnight train from Delhi to Kolkata, which takes about 16 hours. We booked tickets for an AC2 car, which meant that the car was air conditioned, and there were only two bunks, stacked, instead of three. This was a luxurious way to travel in India!

We were served a snack and dinner, as well as breakfast in the morning. Shami says the food was good, although I had a bit of a hard time with it. After dinner, Caitlin settled in on a top bunk, while my bed was formed by the backs of the two single seats folded down. The bunk was narrow and a bit uneven, but it had a window, which I liked. It was cozy once I pulled the curtains for privacy, and I actually slept fairly well, enjoying the motion and sound of the moving train.

In the morning we again enjoyed looking out the window. The landscape had turned lush and green. It was fascinating to see the villages go by, as well as the many rice paddies. We saw fields in all stages, from the planting to the harvesting, with men, women, children and oxen all doing their part.

When we finally arrived at Sealdah station, we were graciously met by Shami's cousin Sanjay, and his aunt Lalmashi. They had a car waiting, and soon we were off battling Kolkata traffic on our way to Shami's parents' apartment, where the next chapter of our adventure was about to start!

Jaipur, briefly

2007-02-15T22:00:00.000+11:00

Camels pulling carts were on every street corner as we entered the desert state of Rajasthan, on our way to Jaipur, the next stop on our tour. We had far too little time to spend there, and when we arrived at our hotel in the early afternoon, our guide was waiting to whisk us away to see the sights.

Hawa Mahal, the Palace of Winds, is one of the most iconic images of Jaipur. Part of the City Palace, it has a facade with almost a thousand windows from where the royal women could observe life on the street from behind intricately carved screens.

The City Palace is now a museum and gallery, housing collections of royal clothes, art and artifacts from an earlier era. It also has some beautiful architecture, including some gorgeously decorated doors.

Notice the silver urn in the picture: Sawai Madho Singh used a set of these massive containers to carry water from the Ganges with him on his voyage to England to attend King Edward VII's coronation in 1902. Each jar is over 5 feet tall, and they are supposedly the most massive silver objects in the world!

Jantar Mantar was a special treat for us. Maharaja Jai Singh II had this collection of astronomical instruments built in the early 1700s, and it is unparalleled in scale and complexity. The instruments track the stars, predict eclipses, and still tell the local time to an accuracy of seconds!

Until the arrival of the British, invading armies traditionally swept into India through the north-west corridor, and the Rajput inhabitants of this region gained a reputation as great warriors. Amber fort was begun by the Rajput ruler Man Singh, whom Emperor Akbar appointed as his general. The fort walls sprawl over the surrounding hills, while inside, there are intricate hallways and corridors, gardens and fountains, halls of mirrors and beautiful views. That morning, we were the first visitors to Amber fort, and as the mist cleared and the sun came out, we were treated to the sight of a long line of elephants bringing tourists up the hillside...

Agra Fort and Fatehpur Sikri

2007-02-14T21:00:00.000+11:00

After our visit to the Taj Mahal, it was on to Agra fort. Advertised as "the most important fort in India", Agra fort was home to each of the great Mughals, from Babur to Aurangzeb, and their vast Indian empire was ruled from here. The fort is a huge complex of buildings, with a variety of architectural and decorative styles that reflects the additions by each subsequent emperor.

One of the most poignant sights at Agra fort is Shah Jahan's balcony. After Shah Jahan built the Taj mahal, his son Aurangzeb fought a series of bloody fratricidal battles and placed him under house arrest in the fort. The forlorn Shah Jahan spent his days on his balcony, from where he could gaze out across the Yamuna river and see the Taj mahal shimmering in the distance.

The next day, we continued our whirlwind tour by driving to Fatehpur Sikri.

Emperor Akbar, the greatest of the Mughals, established Fathepur Sikri as his new capital in honor of a Sufi saint whose blessings he had sought. An architectural jewel and another world heritage site, Fathepur Sikri thrived for 14 years until Akbar moved his court back to Agra, possibly because of a persistent water shortage.

What remains at Fathepur Sikri is a spectacular melding of architectural styles. Akbar established a tradition of religious tolerance, and as well as a Muslim queen, he married a Hindu princess and a Christian from Goa to set an example. Each of his queens had their own quarters, whose architecture reflected their own heritage. The painted and carved walls and roofs remain fresh and vibrant even today.

The Taj Mahal

2007-02-13T21:00:00.001+11:00

It's just a building, right? And it looks just like it does in the postcards. So why is it a wonder of the world, and why does it take your breath away when you stand in front of it?

It was raining when we arrived in Agra, raining when we had lunch, and still raining when we set out to see the Taj Mahal. We were rather concerned, since it was our only day in Agra, and it looked pretty gray and bleak. But as we got to the site, the rain stopped, the sky cleared up, and the sun came out to light up the white marble of the Taj. It was simply magical...

The Taj Mahal was commissioned by Shah Jahan, son (correction: grandson) of the emperor Akbar, as a monument to his love for his wife Mumtaz, who died in childbirth. The inconsolable emperor directed vast resources to the construction of the monument, which blends Hindu, Islamic, Turkish and Persian influences in a uniquely Indian fashion. It is probably the finest example of Mughal architecture, and certainly the best known.

The first thing one notices is the symmetry: an octagonal base, perfectively framed in perspective by four towers, lined up perfectly with the reflecting pool and the ornamental gardens. When you get closer, you realize that the scale of the building is huge. It is hard to reconcile how delicate it looks with the massive size of the structure.

The other astonishing aspect is the detail in the work. Almost every surface and corner at eye level is painstakingly embellished with carvings, calligraphy, inscriptions, and inlay work in precious materials. It is easy to get caught up in admiring a tiny section of inlay, glittering on the softly luminous white marble. And then you step back and realize that sections are covered in similar detail all over the huge structure. It takes the breath away.

Last year, apparently, upwards of three million people visited the Taj Mahal, making it one of the most visited sites anywhere on Earth. And even with the crowds, even after all the pictures and photographs, it is still an amazing thing to behold. Worth the trip? Most certainly!

On the road to Agra

2007-02-13T09:00:00.000+11:00

After a day of sightseeing in Delhi, the three of us (Meghan, Shami, and Caitlin) set off early in the morning for Agra, in the middle of a torrential downpour. It was a dismal, gray day, and a steady drizzle kept us company along the way, but the road from Delhi to Agra was a revelation: a nice, fast, divided highway with traffic zipping along, a far cry from the potholed tracks that used to be the Grand Trunk road.

Along the way, we stopped at Sikandra, home to the Mughal emperor Akbar's tomb. Akbar's reign is widely considered the pinnacle of the Mughal empire, and if his tomb were anywhere else but on the way to the Taj Mahal, it would be a splendid attraction in its own right. As it was, though, we were cold, wet, bedraggled, and eager to get on with it. So we spent a quick few minutes admiring what is actually quite a magnificent mausoleum.

Then it was back in the car, and our driver hurried us along towards Agra...

Sightseeing in Delhi

2007-02-12T23:00:00.000+11:00

After the wedding, we spent a day in Delhi doing the tourist circuit with Caitlin. It was a gray day, but we made the best of it as our tour guide took us to one impressive sight after another. We suffered from overactive trigger fingers on the shutter, but in our defense, Delhi is steeped in fascinating layers of history, and we were skimming the cream of the crop. So here is a tiny sampling of our photo archive...

On the left, pigeons in flight at Jama Masjid, with Red Fort visible in the distance. Jama Masjid is the largest mosque in Old Delhi, while Red Fort, which we drove by, is instantly familiar to every Indian schoolchild from images of Independence Day celebrations. Red Fort was built on the banks of the Yamuna river by the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan when he moved his capital from Agra to Shahjahanabad. Our guide took pride in reciting the many names of Delhi, one for each of the emperors who founded new capitals in the area.

Emperor Humayun, son of Babar, was the first Mughal emperor born in India. His widow built a tomb for him which is now a designated World Heritage site. It is the precursor and the basic model for other, more famous sites like Fatehpur Sikri and the Taj Mahal.

Next on our list was the iconic Qutb Minar, the tallest brick minaret in the world. Qutb-ud-din Aibak, the first Muslim ruler of Delhi, started building it in 1193, but it took till 1368 to complete, using material cannibalized from previous Hindu and Jain temples in the neighborhood.

The entire Qutb Minar complex is another designated World Heritage site, and it includes not only the Qutb Minar and the famous rust-proof Iron Pillar, but also the ruins of temples with their distinctive Hindu architecture, ruins of mosques built with material recycled from those temples, and the massive base of the unfinished Alai Minar. (The Hindu figurines on the intricately carved temple walls were defaced because of the Islamic prohibition on representing faces: pillar after pillar after pillar.) The pattern of iconoclasm, destroying previous religious structures and building new ones on the ruins, has been a common theme in Indian history, and continues to be a cause (one of the many causes) of religious and ethnic conflict in India even today.

Mahatma Gandhi, who pioneered non-violent civil disobedience in India's independence movement, struggled with these religious divisions. In 1947, his dream of independence was finally achieved, but the partition of British India into India and Pakistan was, to him, an unmitigated tragedy. His vision of a self-sufficient, rural, multi-ethnic India living in religious and social harmony seems like an even more distant and utopian vision today than it was in 1947. Gandhi was shot by a radical Hindu for his "betrayal" of Hindu interests, and although he is widely revered in India, his ideals receive more honor than use. Rajghat, loosely translated as the "court of the king", is India's memorial to Gandhi. The site of his assassination is marked by a simple slab of black marble, and it is a serene and surprisingly moving place to stand and reflect on what might have been.

Tuku gets married!

2007-02-11T23:30:00.000+11:00

Weddings are festive affairs in India, and this was especially true for my brother's marriage to my new sister-in-law Uttara in New Delhi. This is one of those infrequent occasions when I get to meet my cousins - here's a group with all six of us brothers and five better halves (one couldn't be there) at the pre-wedding reception.

The gathering was a sparkling affair, with flowers, music, guests in fancy clothes, and excellent food. But most important, it was a chance for friends and family to meet, mingle, catch up on old times, find common acquaintances, and generally establish how small a world it really is.

Meghan and her sister Caitlin were special guests at the wedding, since it was the first trip to India for both of them. Despite the culture shock, they dove right in, dressing up in gorgeous Indian salwar-kameezes and getting their hands decorated with traditional mehendi, intricate patterns in henna. (See the post below for more.)

The ceremony itself started late at night, with traditional Sanskrit chants as the priest conducted the rites in front of the sacred fire as a witness.

It was very late into the night and most of the guests had long gone to bed by the time the proceedings wound up and the newly-wed couple got a bite to eat. And after all that, my poor brother had to bribe his new sister-in-law and cousins to get his shoes back...

Mehendi

2007-02-10T23:30:00.000+11:00

The day before my brother's wedding, his fiancee Uttara's family hosted a mehendi party, in keeping with the Punjabi part of her heritage. (The wedding itself was in the Bengali tradition, reflecting the other half of her ancestry.)

At the party, the women had their hands decorated with traditional designs in henna. It was fascinating to watch the artisans as they created unique works of art on the hands and arms of guests, which would only last a week or two.

The bride got the full treatment, of course, and her hands and feet, arms and legs, were all covered with intricate designs. The rest of the crowd indulged in some serious dancing, but Uttara had to wait patiently for the designs to be completed before she could join in.

The results, though, were simply spectacular...

Travel hiatus

2007-02-07T03:19:00.000+11:00

We're off to India for my brother Tuku's wedding, and a joint reception afterwards. Hop-skip-boing will probably have light posting or take a break altogether while we're on the road, although there should be pictures afterwards.

Meanwhile, here's one of our older photographs of the Sydney harbour bridge at sunset, just to keep our loyal readers happy!

Update on 26 Feb 2007: We're back, and almost over jet lag. Posts about the India trip will appear chronologically.

Australia Day

2007-02-02T00:00:00.000+11:00

January 26th is Australia Day, commemorating the arrival of the First Fleet in Sydney on that day in 1788. (Oddly enough, it is also Republic Day in India, an odd coincidence.)

Sydney marks the occasion in style, with a month of concerts and outdoor plays and other events building up to it. On the day, Sydney harbour comes alive with a parade of boats of all sorts, all the way from tall sailing ships to party boats. Fluttering flags, teeming throngs of viewers, excitement in the air...

The ferrython was one of the highlights of the celebration: four ferry boats, decked out in different colors and loaded up with people, competed in a race. The Sydney ferry corporation handed out different colored visors to the crowds so that everyone could cheer for "their" boat, and the boats lined up and waited for the starting gun. Unfortunately, the event was so popular that a swarm of boats, big and small, gathered around to watch, and the course seemed more like an obstacle race than a sprint! Us viewers on the shore could barely even see the ferries, but it was still an impressive sight.

There was yet more excitement as aircraft and helicopters from the RAAF did fly-bys and the Red Berets parachuted into Sydney harbour, and as dusk came, fireworks lit up the city again. We enjoyed our day out, even though parts of it were a bit of a yawn... :)

Jody Says:

2007-01-23T00:01:00.000+11:00

(You can also read more about Jody the baby wombat.)

Bush fires on the horizon

2007-01-22T15:33:00.000+11:00

Last weekend, after a particularly hot few days, we saw a cloud of smoke on the horizon. After sunset, the cloud took on an ominous red hue, and the sky reflected the red glow of distant flames. We later learned that a bush fire had broken out at the Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park, just north of Sydney's outer suburbs. The fire threatened some homes and led to a freeway closure, but cooler weather and thundershowers kept matters from getting too serious. (Here is a report in the Sydney Morning Herald.) Let's hope we don't have to get much closer to one of these bush fires!

Summertime on the beach

2007-01-21T13:00:00.000+11:00

Well, it's finally feeling like summer in Sydney. Even last weekend, when we headed out to Bondi beach, it was a cloudy and overcast day, and once the sea breeze picked up, it was quite chilly on the beach...

But this weekend, temperatures have finally climbed into the nineties (in F - that's only thirties C) and it actually feels hot. That means it's time to go to the beach again! This time we went to Manly, taking the Manly ferry once again. After a stroll around the beach, Sean and Jeanine plunged into the surf to ride some waves. Meghan followed suit, but it took a lot of courage, because the ocean water was ICY cold - it must have been coming from Antarctica! Shami dipped in a toe (okay, more than a toe) but decided that masochism wasn't his thing. Next time, if the water is warmer, maybe he'll ride some waves too. (Notice Sean and Jeanine in the water, highlighted.)

Meanwhile, the sun was pretty hot, and we deployed our latest purchase: a sunshade tent. The warm breeze and crashing waves made for a perfect afternoon of lounging with beach towels and books. Hmmm, we could make a habit of this...

Striking views

2007-01-15T21:42:00.000+11:00

A dark and stormy night, with lightning over the Iron Cove:

And a beautiful double rainbow, also from our deck:

Striking views indeed!

Encore at the Opera

2007-01-07T22:00:00.000+11:00

This weekend we enjoyed one of our Christmas gifts from Meghan's parents: tickets to the opera to attend The Marriage of Figaro. Unlike our previous trip to the Opera house, this opera was a comedy, not a tragedy. But it still had the full complement of passionate lovers! jealousy! infidelity! mistaken identity! and enough plot twists to make your head spin. Along with Mozart's music and the gorgeous Opera house itself, it made for another very memorable evening...

More from New Year's Eve

2007-01-04T23:00:00.000+11:00

The New Year's Eve fireworks in Sydney are famous, and we heard that over a million people come out to watch them. We headed out to Sydney harbour and hoped to find a good spot to watch the display, but even with a start in the early afternoon, everything was simply jam-packed. Barricades everywhere, jostling crowds, lost tourists - it felt like a madhouse! Luckily, thanks to Jeanine, we had a backup plan: we took a bus to the zoo, where she had special staff tickets for the evening. The zoo was pretty full, too, but we found ourselves a nice picnic spot next to the giraffes, and settled in for the evening. (Notice the person sticking out of the tent next to us - that's a sculpture!) Our spot had a rather nice view of the opera house and the bridge, which displayed a flashing question mark where the evening's motif would be revealed.

As dusk settled in, boats gathered in the harbour for the best views, like a thousand glittering points of light...

And then, on the dot of 9 pm, the family fireworks began, lighting up the harbour and the skies overhead. It was a short display, but quite spectacular.

The question mark became a coat hanger, which is the nickname for the bridge, and later on, a diamond motif was revealed to commemorate the Diamond (75th) anniversary of the harbour bridge.

After we enjoyed our picnic and the early fireworks, we decided to head back. The streets were swarming with revelers as we made our way home. As midnight came, we rang in the New Year from the comfort of our own deck, with spectacular fireworks over the Iron Cove...

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T00:42:00.000+11:00

I guess we beat most people to it...

Happy New Year to all of you from Sydney, Australia!

Sydney to Hobart

2006-12-30T09:36:00.000+11:00

Australians love sports of all sorts, and there is much anticipated sailing race that begins in Sydney and ends in Hobart (in Tasmania.) It begins on Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, and takes the fastest yachts about two days to complete. The current record for the fastest time to the finish line is 1 day, 18 hours, 40 minutes and 10 seconds, set in 2005 by a yacht named Wild Oats XI. Thousands of Australians make a day of it, and go out to watch the start of the race. We met Andrea and her twin girls, and set out to see what all the excitement was about. We were not disappointed!

A satellite view of Sydney harbour.
The Yellow arrow points to our apartment in Rozelle.
The Orange arrow points to Circular Quay (pronounced "Key"), the ferry hub of Sydney.
The Red arrow points to South Head, from where we watched the beginning of the race.

We took a ferry from Circular Quay to Watson's Bay, and then walked up along the shore to South Head, where Sydney harbour opens up into the Tasman Sea. We got there early enough to find a great spot, and put down our blanket. Then we enjoyed a picnic lunch, watched small planes skywriting, and waited for the 1:00 pm start. We had a great view of North Head, and were only steps away from a great city skyline view as well. The weather was perfect, but our sunny spot required the application of sunscreen, and hats!

Some historic sailing ships started things off, sailing majestically down the harbour. Andrea's husband Steve volunteers for the Heritage fleet, and was lucky enough to earn a spot aboard the largest of them, the James Craig.

At 1:00 pm sharp we heard the cannon boom, and the race was on. All the picnickers got to their feet to watch!

Here you can see Wild Oats XI, last year's winner, leading the way out of the harbour, turning South on the treacherous voyage down to Tasmania - a trip that would take them over two days.

There was a buzz of activity, with at least 7 helicopters flying around, and hundreds of private boats zooming all over. The racing yachts (78 in all) had a clear channel to sail in, but outside the channel was fair game.

We got our fill of the yachts, and then stayed and enjoyed the amazing scenery for a while before heading back for the day.

The Sydney to Hobart course is a difficult one. As it turns out, Wild Oats XI kept her lead, and won the race again, although dangerous seas claimed several boats, including one that had just overtaken her. There were some injuries, but luckily no loss of life. Wild Oats XI took 2 days and almost 9 hours to finish the race this time, and became the first back-to-back winner since 1964.

Christmas Day

2006-12-26T21:00:00.000+11:00

Despite the warm weather and summer sunshine, Christmas came to Australia. We missed the rest of the family, but we were so happy to have Jeanine and Sean here to share it with us. We all had a very nice day together.

We enjoyed a scrumptious breakfast of pikelet pancakes and fresh fruit, prepared by Jeanine.

After breakfast we exchanged the assortment of gifts that had mysteriously accumulated under our tree. Shami gets a bilby mug!

Jeanine and Sean show off opera tickets, a gift for all four of us from our parents. We'll be going to see The Marriage of Figaro on January 6, 2007!

We had a lazy day for the most part, but the weather was so nice in the late afternoon that we all headed out for a game of frisbee at a nearby park. Afterwards Shami whipped up a delicious meal of curries and dal.

We put on our fancy table cloth, popped our Christmas "crackers", donned our crowns, and enjoyed a relaxed meal. It was so good that there was almost no room left for the apple/passion fruit crumble Meghan made for dessert, but we managed anyway.

Merry Christmas from Down Under!

2006-12-25T23:00:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Our warm wishes for a happy holiday season from Down Under...

Below, a couple of pictures of our "Christmas tree" decorated with our Australian critter ornaments, before and after Santa's visit. More about our Christmas later on.

Jody the baby wombat

2006-12-24T11:37:00.000+11:00

We think one of the cutest Australian animals is the wombat. So it was tremendously exciting when Jeanine told us that we could go into work with her at the zoo and meet a baby wombat!

Wombats are slow-moving, muscular marsupials. They are herbivores, spending many hours each night grazing on native grasses and roots. They live in burrows, digging extensive systems of tunnels with their powerful claws. Sadly, expanding human settlement is steadily encroaching on their habitat, making accidents with cars more and more common.

Jody is a seven month old baby wombat who was orphaned in one such accident. She is being raised by a colleague of Jeanine's at the zoo, in close contact with humans. When she is older she might participate in programs with kids. Wombats are usually laid back and slow creatures, and Jody spends most of her time napping in the office. When they are comfortable and relaxed, they like to sleep belly up!

Meghan picked her up, and was in wombat heaven straightaway, cooing over the furry little bundle of joy...

Jody seemed to enjoy being cuddled, although it was hard to tell who was happier, the cuddler or the cuddlee. Even when she was on the ground, we found that she would happily roll over for attention, exposing her soft belly to be stroked. Here she is, being cuddled by Meghan, Shami, Jeanine, and Sean.

Just look at her grin!

Meghan really wanted to smuggle Jody out of the zoo in her bag, but sadly, it was nap time again, and we had to put the sleepy wombat back to bed. Good bye, Jody! Meghan is still bubbling over about the whole experience...